Michael
and gave him as many sultanas as he wanted and told him all about the
house into which she and Mr. Hopkins and Flossie would presently depart
from Carlington Road.

"Are you going away?" Michael asked, aghast.

"Going to be married," said Mrs. Frith.

"But I don't want you to go."

"There, bless your heart, I've a good mind to stay. I believe you'll
miss your poor old Mrs. Frith, eh, ducky?"

Everybody nice went away, Michael thought. It was extraordinary how only
nasty food and nasty people were wholesome.

Mrs. Frith's departure was even more exciting than her stories. One
afternoon Michael found her in the kitchen, dancing about with her
skirts kilted above her knees. He was a little embarrassed at first, but
very soon he had to laugh because she was evidently not behaving like
this in order to show off, but because she enjoyed dancing about the
kitchen.

"Why are you dancing, Mrs. Frith?" he asked.

"Happy as a lark, lovey," she answered in an odd voice. "Happy as a
lark, for we won't go home till morning, we won't go home till morning,"
and singing, she twirled round and round until she sank into a wicker
arm-chair. At this moment Annie came running downstairs with Nurse, and
both of them glared at Mrs. Frith with shocked expressions.

"What ever are you doing, Cook?" said Nurse.

"That's all right, lovey. That's All Sir Garnet, and don't you make no
mistake. Don't you--make no mistake."

Here Mrs. Frith gave a very loud hiccup and waved her arms and did not
even say 'beg pardon' for the offensive noise.

"Michael," said Nurse, "go upstairs at once. Mrs. Frith, get up. You
ignorant and vulgar woman. Get up."

"And you ought to be ashamed of yourself," said Cook to Nurse. "You old
performing monkey, that's what you are."

"Annie," said Nurse, "fetch a policeman in, and go and get this woman's
box."

"Woman!" said Mrs. Frith. "Woman yourself. Who's a woman? I'm not a
woman. No, I'm not. And if I am a woman, you're not the one to say so.
Ah, I know how many bottles have gone out of this house and come
in--not by me."

"Hold your impudent tongue," said Nurse.

"I shall not hold my tongue, so now," retorted Mrs. Frith.

Michael had squeezed himself behind the kitchen door fascinated by this
duel. It was like Alice in Wonderland, and every minute he expected to
see Cook throwing plates at Nanny, who was certainly making faces
exactly like the Duchess. The area door slammed, and Michael wo