d."
_Punch_ then presumes 'tis by that Alphabet
A Cricketer may learn to (WALTER) READ!

* * * * *

COINS OF THE REALM.--'ARRY remarks that the Tories are led by a "Bob"
(CECIL), the Parnellites can boast the possession of a "TANNER," whilst
the Liberal Unionists make the most of their "JOEY."

* * * * *

ON THE JAR.--The French have a proverb, "_il faut qu'une porte soit
ouverte ou fermee_." This evidently does not apply to the Sublime Porte,
which seems generally "neither one thing nor t' other."

* * * * *

IT was settled at the last meet of the Coaching Club that Mr. EATON,
M.P., the new Peer, is to be crowned not with laurels, but with his own
bays.

* * * * *

THE BARD AT HENLEY.

(_A Reminiscence._)

[Illustration: Retirement after the Jubilee Fortnight.
"Far from the Madding Crowd."]

OH, Friday was lovely! The Bard who now sings
Saw Princes, Princesses, a Duke, and two Kings,
His Indian Highness, called RAS KUTCH THAKORE,
NAWAB GAFFER JUNG and several more.

They saw the best racing, then went to lunch with
The Closuring Commoner, our Mr. SMITH.
'Twas Jubilee Weather! the Course was well kept!
Oh, champagne! and Oh, headache! I sighed--and then slept.

I awoke, to find all my companions gone,
And I, like the Rose, was left blooming alone.
So I plunged in the freshening stream--down, down, down
I dived, and I dived, then I came up--to town.

* * * * *

A CASE AGAINST THE POLICE.--This was Miss CASE, who being arrested by a
Constable, was Miss-taken for somebody else. Gallant JOSEPHUS
CHAMBERLANIUS of the Orchid Squad has come to the rescue, and the
"MATTHEWS-at-Home" Secretary granted an inquiry. Before this paragraph
appears, the Public may be in possession of the truth. Justice must be
done, or the young woman may become Case-hardened. But whatever the
result may be, the Magistrate should study and get by heart, _Newton's
Principia_.

* * * * *

GARDEN, LANE, AND MARKET.

[Illustration: Note from "Mr. G." to Madame Albani.]

"MR. G."--the upper G.--went to hear _Puritani_ on Thursday night. Of
course he called on Madame ALBANI, and sang a few of the songs just to
give "Signor G." a hint. When the First Act was over, and the Closure
was moved by the Act-drop descending