And they're sure to scold and cuss
The tired three, and raise a fuss
And a pother
About Hopeful here. Heigho!
But he's ready, dears, to go.
Ah! they little little know
All our bother!

On our hands heaven knows how long
We have had him. 'Twould be wrong
To indulge in language strong;
But how hearty
Is our joy that we have done!
There now, REPPY, off you run!
Only hope you'll have good fun
At the Party!

* * * * *

TO AN OLD FRIEND WITH A NEW WIG.

Delighted to hear that our friend CHARLES HALL, A.D.C., Trin. Coll.
Cam., and Q.C., is likely to be made a Judge. Where will he sit?
Admiralty, Probate, and Divorce Court, where wreckage cases of ships and
married lives are heard? Health to the Judge that shall be, with a song
and chorus, if you please, Gentlemen, to the ancient air of "_Samuel
Hall_," revived for this occasion only:--

His name it is CHARLES HALL,
A.D.C. and Q.C.,
His name it is CHARLES HALL.
In cases great and small
He's shone out since his call,
All agree.

In Court of Admiral_tee_
Did he drudge, (_bis_)
In Court of Admiraltee,
'Bout lights and wrecks,--will he
Henceforth be less at sea
As a Judge?

_Chorus._

(_To quite another tune, i.e., the refrain of_ GEORGE GROSSMITH'S _song,
"How I became an Actor."_)

And each of his friends makes this remark,
(Retort he may with "Fudge!")
"Now wasn't I the first to say, you're sure
Some day to be a Judge!"

It will be a touching spectacle, as, indeed, it always is to the
reflective mind, to see the new Judge sitting among the wrecks, like
"Marius among the Ruins." Fine subject for Sir FREDERICK, P.R.A., in the
next Academy Exhibition.

* * * * *

[Illustration: A DISTINCTION WITHOUT A DIFFERENCE (IN RESULT).

"HULLO, JIM, WHATEVER MADE YOU COME OFF?"--"WHY, THE BRUTE
BUCKED!"--"BUCKED! NONSENSE, MAN, SHE ONLY COUGHED!"]

* * * * *

KICKED!

(_By the Foot of Clara Groomley._)

IN FOUR CHAPTERS.--III.

Nothing done! The whole Detective force of London, having nothing better
to do, were placed at my disposal, and, after three weeks' search, they
found a girl called SMITH; but it was the wrong one. My darling is
_blonde_