t Looe had a Thersites in its camp.

His name was Scantlebury; he kept a small general shop in the rear of the
Town Quay, and he bore Captain Pond a grudge of five years' standing for
having declined to enlist him on the pretext of his legs being so
malformed that the children of the town drove their hoops between them.

In his nasty spite this Scantlebury sat down and indited a letter,
addressed--

"To the Right Honble Person as looks after the artillery.
Horse Guards,
London."

"Honble SIR,--This comes hoping to find you well as it leaves me at
present and I beg leave to tell you there be some dam funny
goings-on, down here to Looe. The E. & W. Looe Volunteer Artllry
have took to calling themselves the Die-hards and the way they coddle
is a public scandal, when I tell you that for six weeks there has
been no drill in the fresh air and 16s 8d public money has been paid
to T. Tripconey carpenter (a member of the corps) for fastening up
the windows of the Town Hall against draughts. Likewise a number of
sandbags have been taken from the upper battery and moved down to the
said room (which they use for a drill hall) to stop out the wind from
coming under the door. Likewise also to my knowledge for three
months the company have not been allowed to move at the double
because Gunner Spettigew (who owns to seventy-three) cant manage a
step of thirty-six inches without his heart being effected.

"I wish you could see the place where they have been and moved the
said upper Battery. It would make you laugh. They have put it round
the corner to the eastward where it would have to blow away seven or
eight hundred ton of Squire Trelawny's cliff before it could get a
clear shot at a vessel entering the haven. Trusting you will excuse
the length of this letter and come down and have a look for yourself,
I remain yours truly. A Well-Wisher."

The clerk in Whitehall who opened this unconventional letter passed it up
to his chief, who in turn passed it on to the Adjutant-General, who thrust
it into a pigeon-hole reserved for such curiosities. Now, as it happened,
a week later the Adjutant-General received a visit from a certain Colonel
Taubmann of the Royal Artillery, who was just leaving London for Plymouth,
to make a tour of inspection through the W