"Oh, my baby, baby calf,
Your mother kindly begs,
Please, _please_ get off your head
And stand upon your legs!"

But the baby calf only mooed. And it smiled when it mooed which the old
cow thought queer too. None of her other babies had smiled. Then the
calf said:

"I'm a wonderful calf,
And it makes me laugh
Such wonderful things can I do!
I stand on my head
Whenever I'm fed,
And smile whenever I moo,
I do,
I smile whenever I moo!"

"Dear me!" thought the old mother cow. "I never saw or heard anything
like this!"

But this was only the beginning. The baby calf kept on doing
strange and wonderful things till at last everyone called her
Wonderful-calf-that-never-was! And many people used to come to see her
stand on her head whenever she was fed. She did other queer things too!
Once she pulled off the ear of another calf! And all she said was: "Poor
little calf! You mustn't go in the pasture where there are other
calves!" But the little calf who had lost its ear said, "Yes, I must!"
But after that Wonderful-calf-that-never-was was kept in the barn for a
long time.

At last it was June again and she was a year old. Her horns had begun
to grow. The old cow, her mother, had another baby. This new baby calf
was just like other calves and not wonderful at all. The old cow was
glad for Wonderful-cow-that-never-was worried her very much. For
everything about her was queer. One day the calf who had lost
the ear,--she was a young cow now,--took hold of the tail of
Wonderful-young-cow-that-never-was and pulled it. And what do
you suppose happened? The tail broke right off! All the cows
were frightened. Whoever heard of a broken tail? But
Wonderful-young-cow-that-never-was only mooed and when she mooed
she always smiled. Then she said:

"I'm a wonderful cow
And I don't know how
Such wonderful things I do!
If I break my tail,
I never fail
To glue with a grasshopper's goo,
I do,
I glue with a grasshopper's goo!"

And so she did. She got a grasshopper to give her some sticky stuff
and she smeared it on the two ends of her broken tail and stuck them
together. "And now it's as good as new," she said, "and now it's as good
as new!"

Her horns grew and grew. She was very proud of them and was always
trying to hook some one or gore another cow with them. But one day she
went to the edge of the lake when it