* *

HINTS TO YOUNG FOOD-PRODUCERS.

_Jugged Hare._--A well-known firm of hare-raisers in Carmelite Street
informs us that young rabbits fed on sponge-cake soaked in port wine have a
flavour which renders them indistinguishable from hare.

_Celeriac._---This appetising vegetable has been little cultivated owing to
a general but erroneous belief that it was the name of a new kind of
motor-car. "Celeriac" is of course a compound of the word "celery" and the
Arabic suffix "ac," which means "bearing a resemblance to" or "a small
imitation of." Thus it would be correct for the writer to speak of the
salariac he earns by writing this sort of thing.

[_Note._--"Earns" would _not_ be correct.--ED.]

* * * * *

NAVIGATION EXTRAORDINARY.

"Although the stern and screws of the vessel were well out of the water
she was able to make the port under her own steam."--_Daily Mail._

* * * * *

"Portatoes in the usual forms have disappeared this week.--LORNA."--
_British Weekly._

These must be the Devonportatoes of which we have heard so much.

* * * * *

AT BEST.

[Baron MORITZ FERDINAND VON BISSING, the German Military Governor-
General of Belgium, the murderer of Nurse CAVELL and instigator of the
infamous Belgian deportations, after being granted a rest from his
labours, is reported to have died "of overwork."]

Tired of pillaging and sacking,
Tired of bludgeoning and whacking,
Tired of torturing and racking,
BISSING takes his "rest."

For the sport of shooting nurses,
Gloating o'er his victims' hearses,
Answering appeals with curses,
He had lost his zest.

All his diabolic striving
To intensify slave-driving
Could not slay the soul surviving
In a Nation's breast.

Still the flame burns ever brighter
Underneath the blouse or mitre;
Still the smitten greets the smiter
With undaunted crest;

While the arch-tormentor, flying
From the hell about him lying,
Mid the fire and worm undying
Takes his endless rest.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE WANING OF FAITH.

GUARDIAN OF STATUE. "YOU WISH TO HAMMER ANOTHER NAIL INTO THE COLOSSUS OF
OUR HINDENBURG?"

EX-ENTHUSIAST. "NO; I WANT MY OLD ONE BACK."]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

_Tuesday, April 17th._--