Telegraph._

Or, at any rate, a considerable shrinkage in its contour.

* * * * *

"If there must be duplication of electric light installations, the
apparati might, at least, be made uniform. And it would not be
expecting too much if they were made in some way to harmonise with the
telephone service."--_Australian Paper._

Or even with the Latin Grammar?

* * * * *

"5-Seater Car for Sale; must sell; chauffeur at the Front; own body
cost over L73. What offers?--RECTOR."--_Times._

These personal details seem to us a little out of place in a commercial
transaction.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _John._ "BUT WHY MUSTN'T WE HAVE NEW BREAD ANY MORE?"

_Joan._ "WHY, DON'T YOU SEE, SILLY? IF WE EAT YESTERDAY'S AND SAVE UP
TO-DAY'S THERE'LL ALWAYS BE SOME FOR TO-MORROW. THEN THE GERMANS CAN'T
STARVE US."]

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

(_ By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks._)

In these days, when everybody has his reminiscences, there should still be
a welcome for so genial a volume as _A Soldier's Memories_ (JENKINS), into
which Major-General Sir GEORGE YOUNGHUSBAND has gathered his "Recollections
of People, Places and Things." The title truly indicates the character of
the contents, which are exactly what you would expect from a plain blunt
man, who loves his friends, and equally loves a good story about them, at
his own or their expense, impartially. The anecdotes in the book are
legion, and the actors in them range from troopers to generals, and beyond.
KING EDWARD, their present Majesties, Sir DOUGLAS HAIG ("a nice-looking
clean little boy in an Eton jacket and collar") all figure in the author's
pictures of the past, which include also a highly characteristic study of
WILLIAM THE FRIGHTFUL, congratulating the "citizens of Salisbury,"
represented by a handful of curious urchins, upon their "beautiful and
ancient cathedral." (One can fancy the unspoken addition in the Imperial
mind, "And what a target for Bertha!") Many of Sir GEORGE'S pages are
devoted to stories of the Boer campaign, that old unhappy far-off thing
that seems somehow, as one looks back to-day, further off than Waterloo. In
fine, a book that all Service folk, and many besides them, will find a
treasure-house of good stories, of exactly the kind that should be certain
of their appeal no