ES.

Capt. S------, of the ------ regiment, during the American war, was
notorious for a propensity, not to story-telling, but to telling long
stories, which he used to indulge in defiance of time and place, often
to the great annoyance of his immediate companions; but he was so
good-humoured withal, that they were loth to check him abruptly or
harshly. An opportunity occurred of giving him a hint, which had the
desired effect. He was a member of a courtmartial assembled for the
trial of a private of the regiment. The man bore a very good character
in general, the offence he had committed was slight, and the court was
rather at a loss what punishment to award, for it was requisite to award
some, as the man had been found guilty. While they were deliberating on
this, Major ------, now General Sir ------, suddenly turning to the
president, said, in his dry manner, "Suppose we sentence him to hear
two of Captain S------'s long stories."

* * * * *

GENUINE GAELIC PROCLAMATION.

The crier sounds a flourish on that delightful sonorous instrument,
the bagpipe, then loquitor, "Tak tent a' ye land louping hallions, the
meickle deil tamn ye, tat are within the bounds. If any o' ye be foond
fishing in ma Lort Preadalpine's gruns, he'll be first headit, and syne
hangit, and syne droom't; an' if ta loon's bauld enough to come bock
again, his horse and cart will be ta'en frae him; and if ta teils' sae
grit wi' him tat he shows his ill faurd face ta three times, far waur
things wull be dune till him. An noo tat ye a' ken ta wull o' ta lairt,
I'll e'en gang hame and sup my brose."

* * * * *

TO LOUISA.

L et me but hope
O lovely maid,
U ever will be mine,
I 'll bless my fate,
S upremely great,
A happy _Valentine_.

N.R.H.

* * * * *

A DEAD SUBJECT.

"_Dyed_ stockings are always rotten," said a Nottingham
warehouseman.--"Yes," replied a by-stander, "and you'll be rotten when
you're _dead_."

GRIZZLE.

* * * * *

What will some grave people say to this?--from a "Constant Reader."
A little boy having swallowed a medal of Napoleon, ran in great
tribulation to his mother, and told her "that he had swallowed
_Boneparty_."

* * * * *

PURCHASERS of the MIRROR, who may wish to complete their sets are
informed, that every volume is complete