fter your moral welfare?"

THE LITTLE BOY--"Yes'm."

THE LADY--"Are they bringing you up to be a good and helpful citizen?"

THE LITTLE BOY--"Yes'm."

THE LADY--"Will you ask your mother to come and hear me talk on 'When
Does a Mother's Duty to Her Child Begin?' next Saturday afternoon, at
three o'clock, at Lyceum Hall?"

THE LITTLE BOY (explosively)--"What's th' matter with you ma! Don't you
know me? I'm your little boy!"

Here's to the happiest hours of my life--
Spent in the arms of another man's wife:
My mother!

Happy he
With such a mother! faith in womankind
Beats with his blood, and trust in all things high
Comes easy to him, and though he trip and fall,
He shall not blind his soul with clay.

--_Tennyson_.

Women know
The way to rear up children (to be just);
They know a simple, merry, tender knack
Of tying sashes, fitting baby-shoes,
And stringing pretty words that make no sense,
And kissing full sense into empty words;
Which things are corals to cut life upon,
Although such trifles.

--_E. B. Browning_

MOTHERS-IN-LAW

Justice David J. Brewer was asked not long ago by a man.

"Will you please tell me, sir, what is the extreme penalty for bigamy?"

Justice Brewer smiled and answered:

"Two mothers-in-law."

SHE--"And so you are going to be my son-in-law?"

HE--"By Jove! I hadn't thought of that."

WAITER--"Have another glass, sir?"

HUSBAND (to his wife)--"Shall I have another glass, Henrietta?"

WIFE (to her mother)--"Shall he have another, mother?"

A blackmailer wrote the following to a wealthy business man: "Send me
$5,000 or I will abduct your mother-in-law."

To which the business man replied: "Sorry I am short of funds, but your
proposition interests me."

An undertaker telegraphed to a man that his mother-in-law had died and
asked whether he should bury, embalm or cremate her. The man replied,
"All three, take no chances."

MOTORCYCLES

The automobile was a thing unheard of to a mountaineer in one community,
and he was very much astonished one day when he saw one go by without
any visible means of locomotion. His eyes bulged, however, when a
motorcycle followed closely in its wake and disappeared like a flash
around a bend in the road.

"Gee whiz!" he said, turning to his son, "who'd 'a' s'posed that thing
had a colt?"

MOUNTAINS

Some real-estate dealers