deef--can't hear
thunder; but I told wife thet I thought we owed it to her to do the best
we could to reach her, and I had that bell made a-purpose.

Now, some men they'd slight a mother-in-law like that, an' maybe ring a
dummy at her; but that's thess where I differ. I don't forget where I
get my benefits, an' ef it hadn't 'a' been for her, the family circle o'
Deuteronomy Jones would be quite diff'rent to what it is. She's handed
down some of Sonny's best traits to him, too.

I don't say she give him his hearin', less'n she give 'm all she
had--which, of co'se, I'm thess a-jokin', which is a sin, an' her
stone-deef, and Sonny thess come thoo a death-spell!

Me havin' that extry sized bell made thess out of respects to her
tickled her mightily.

Come along, Sonny! He heerd the bell, an' he knows what it means. That's
right--fetch the clock along.

Sonny's cheer is toler'ble low, an' he's took a notion to set on the
clock mealtimes. I thess lay 'er face down'ards in his cheer, 'n' I
don't know ez it hurts her any; 'n' then it saves the dictionary, too.

She did strike that a-way one day, and Sonny was so tickled he purty
near choked on a batter-cake, he laughed so. He has broke sev'ral
casters tryin' to jostle her into doin' it again, but somehow she won't.
Seem like a clock kin be about ez contrary ez anything else, once't git
her back up.

He got so worked up over her not strikin' that a-way one day thet he
stiffened out in a spell, then an' there.

You say they ain't apt to be fatal, doctor--them spells!

Well--but you ain't never saw him in one yet. They're reg'lar
death-spells, doctor.

Tell you the truth, they was the 'casion of us j'inin' the church, them
spells was.

Says I to wife--standin' beside him one day, and he black in the
face--says I, "Wife," says I, "I reckon you an' me better try to live
mo' righteously 'n what we've been doin', or he'll be took from us."
An', sir, the very nex' communion we both up an' perfessed. An' I
started sayin' grace at table, an' lef' off the on'y cuss-word I ever
did use, which was "durn." An', maybe I oughtn't to say it, but I miss
that word yet. I didn't often call on it, but I always knowed 't was
there when needed, and it backed me up, somehow--thess the way knowin' I
had a frock-coat in the press has helped me wear out ol' clo'es. I ain't
never had on that frock-coat sence I was married in it seventeen year
ago; but, sir, ever sence I've knew the moths had