oyous
expression of his countenance when in health had given place to a
mild and melancholy shade of sadness, which affected me painfully;
for the thought struck me that my father was soon to be called away.
"'I evaded answering his question, and when he found I did not
reply, he said, "My son, let us ask the direction of Almighty God in
this great work." I knelt with him, and was lost in admiration. I
could not remove my eyes from his face during the prayer; his whole
soul seemed absorbed in communion with God, and as I gazed, I
wondered what the glorious angels must be like, when the face of my
beloved father, while here on earth, looked so exquisitely lovely,
glowing in the beauty of holiness.
"'For several days, the conversation in the study was continually in
my mind; I could think of nothing else. I did not like the
profession well enough to have chosen it myself, for I disliked
retirement; but after an inward struggle, betwixt my inclination and
my duty, I resolved, that, to please my father, I would study for
the church. One day, my godfather, Captain Hartly, came to see us,
and he took great notice of me. He asked me if I should like to go
to sea? Then he told me such fine things about life in the navy, and
on board ship, that my wavering mind fired at his descriptions, and
I determined to be a sailor, for such a life would be more congenial
to my feelings than the quiet life of a country clergyman. I did not
mention this to my father, for he was ill, and I feared to grieve
him; nevertheless, had he asked me, I should certainly have opened
my heart to him without dissimulation. I often fretted when I
thought how sorry he would be to hear that I did not care to be
engaged in the service of _his_ Master; when one morning, as I was
lying in bed, a servant came into my room, and desired me to hasten
to my father's chamber, to receive his blessing, for he was dying.
"'I did hasten. I know not how I got there. I rushed into his arms,
I threw myself on his neck, and felt as if I too must die. He was
too much exhausted to speak; but he placed his hand on my head, and,
slightly moving his lips, the expression of his features told, in
plain language, that his heart was engaged in prayer. He _was_
praying, and for me,--me, his unworthy son, and when I considered
that I could not comply with his wishes without being a hypocrite, I
thought my heart would burst. For several minutes, was my dear
father thus occupied; t
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