rail in an easy attitude, so as to face the Lord
Mayor, as well as a portion of his audience.

"Before I go any farther," he said, "will your lordship pardon me if I
suggest that it might be as well to direct that all reporters present
should immediately withdraw?"

The reporters' table was instantly in a stir of anger, and many of the
guests expressed some dissatisfaction. "We, at least," said the Lord
Mayor, rising, flushed with annoyance, "have no reason to dread
publicity. I decline to make a hole-and-corner affair of this. I shall
give no such orders."

"Very well," said Horace, when the chorus of approval had subsided. "My
suggestion was made quite as much in the Corporation's interests as
mine. I merely thought that, when you all clearly understood how grossly
you've been deluded, you might prefer to have the details kept out of
the newspapers if possible. But if you particularly want them published
over the whole world, why, of course----"

An uproar followed here, under cover of which the Lord Mayor contrived
to give orders to have the doors fastened till further directions.

"Don't make this more difficult and disagreeable for me than it is
already!" said Horace, as soon as he could obtain a hearing again. "You
don't suppose that I should have come here in this Tom-fool's dress,
imposing myself on the hospitality of this great City, if I could have
helped it! If you've been brought here under false pretences, so have I.
If you've been made to look rather foolish, what is _your_ situation to
mine? The fact is, I am the victim of a headstrong force which I am
utterly unable to control...."

Upon this a fresh uproar arose, and prevented him from continuing for
some time. "I only ask for fair play and a patient hearing!" he pleaded.
"Give me that, and I will undertake to restore you all to good humour
before I have done."

They calmed down at this appeal, and he was able to proceed. "My case is
simply this," he said. "A little time ago I happened to go to an auction
and buy a large brass bottle...."

For some inexplicable reason his last words roused the audience to
absolute frenzy; they would not hear anything about the brass bottle.
Every time he attempted to mention it they howled him down, they hissed,
they groaned, they shook their fists; the din was positively deafening.

Nor was the demonstration confined to the male portion of the assembly.
One lady, indeed, who is a prominent leader in society,