all the kind of speech for the
occasion.

"I know what you're thinking," said Horace. "You're thinking this is
mock modesty on my part. But it's nothing of the sort. _I_ don't know
what I've done--but I presume you are all better informed. Because the
Corporation wouldn't have given me that very charming casket--you
wouldn't all of you be here like this--unless you were under a strong
impression that I'd done _something_ to deserve it." At this there was a
fresh outburst of applause. "Just so," said Horace, calmly. "Well, now,
will any of you be kind enough to tell me, in a few words, _what_ you
suppose I've done?"

There was a dead silence, in which every one looked at his or her
neighbour and smiled feebly.

"My Lord Mayor," continued Horace, "I appeal to you to tell me and this
distinguished assembly why on earth we're all here!"

The Lord Mayor rose. "I think it sufficient to say," he announced with
dignity, "that the Corporation and myself were unanimously of opinion
that this distinction should be awarded--for reasons which it is
unnecessary and--hum--ha--invidious to enter into here."

"I am sorry," persisted Horace, "but I must press your lordship for
those reasons. I have an object.... Will the City Chamberlain oblige me,
then?... No? Well, then, the Town Clerk?... No?--it's just as I
suspected: none of you can give me your reasons, and shall I tell you
why? Because there _aren't_ any.... Now, do bear with me for a moment.
I'm quite aware this is very embarrassing for all of you--but remember
that it's infinitely more awkward for _me_! I really cannot accept the
freedom of the City under any suspicion of false pretences. It would be
a poor reward for your hospitality, and base and unpatriotic into the
bargain, to depreciate the value of so great a distinction by permitting
it to be conferred unworthily. If, after you've heard what I am going to
tell you, you still insist on my accepting such an honour, of course I
will not be so ungracious as to refuse it. But I really don't feel that
it would be right to inscribe my name on your Roll of Fame without some
sort of explanation. If I did, I might, for anything I know,
involuntarily be signing the death-warrant of the Corporation!"

There was a breathless hush upon this; the silence grew so intense that
to borrow a slightly involved metaphor from a distinguished friend of
the writer's, you might have picked up a pin in it! Horace leaned
sideways against the