respect the Church, Sir,' his Lordship said, 'by Jove, I'd kick you
downstairs:' his Lordship then fell back into the fit aforesaid; and
Lady Fanny, as we all know, married General Podager.

As for poor Tom, he was over head and ears in debt as well as in
love: his creditors came down upon him. Mr. Hemp, of Portugal Street,
proclaimed his name lately as a reverend outlaw; and he has been seen
at various foreign watering-places; sometimes doing duty; sometimes
'coaching' a stray gentleman's son at Carlsruhe or Kissingen;
sometimes--must we say it?--lurking about the roulette-tables with a
tuft to his chin.

If temptation had not come upon this unhappy fellow in the shape of
a Lord Brandyball, he might still have been following his profession,
humbly and worthily. He might have married his cousin with four thousand
pounds, the wine-merchant's daughter (the old gentleman quarrelled with
his nephew for not soliciting wine-orders from Lord B. for him): he
might have had seven children, and taken private pupils, and eked out
his income, and lived and died a country parson.

Could he have done better? You who want to know how great, and good, and
noble such a character may be, read Stanley's 'Life of Doctor Arnold.'

CHAPTER XIII--ON CLERICAL SNOBS

Among the varieties of the Snob Clerical, the University Snob and the
Scholastic Snob ought never to be forgotten; they form a very strong
battalion in the black-coated army.

The wisdom of our ancestors (which I admire more and more every day)
seemed to have determined that education of youth was so paltry and
unimportant a matter, that almost any man, armed with a birch and
regulation cassock and degree, might undertake the charge: and many an
honest country gentleman may be found to the present day, who takes very
good care to have a character with his butler when he engages him
and will not purchase a horse without the warranty and the closest
inspection; but sends off his son, young John Thomas, to school without
asking any questions about the Schoolmaster, and places the lad at
Switchester College, under Doctor Block, because he (the good old
English gentleman) had been at Switchester, under Doctor Buzwig, forty
years ago.

We have a love for all little boys at school; for many scores of
thousands of them read and love PUNCH:--may he never write a word that
shall not be honest and fit for them to read! He will not have his young
friends to be Snobs in the future