* * * *

=STOCKS= An unreliable commodity bought and sold by gamblers. If
you win, it's an investment; if you lose, a speculation.

* * * * *

=STOVE-PIPE=

[Illustration]

A movable cylinder used as a receptacle for smoke and profanity.

* * * * *

=SPRING= Formerly a very delightful season but now obsolete except
in poetry and the Old Farmer's Almanac.

* * * * *

=SPINSTER= An ember from which the sparks have flown.

* * * * *

=SUBWAY= In Boston, a place where one may enjoy continuous
disturbance of the peace, disorderly conduct, assault and
battery, riot and rebellion. These events are allowed by law,
and the entry-fee is five cents.

* * * * *

=SUCCESS= A goal usually reached by those who employ their time in
cultivating a more definite aim in life rather than in
searching for a larger target.

* * * * *

=SUMMER= An oppressive and expensive season invented by rural
cottage and hotel owners, railroad and steamboat companies and
the Iceman.

* * * * *

=SUN= A yellow arrival from Way Down East, who goes west daily,
operates a heating and lighting trust, draws water, prints
pictures, develops crops, liquidates the ice business and
tans skins on the side. Profits by his daily rays and always
has a shine.

* * * * *

=SYMPATHY=

[Illustration]

Feeling for others; very noticeable in Blind Man's Buff.

* * * * *

=SYNDICATE= A conspiracy to extend the modest business established
by Captain Kidd.

Fortune knocks only once at a man's door--And she's the worst
Knocker in the world.

T

Brevity is the soul of wit--and the sole charm of of a bicycle
skirt.

=TAILOR= One who takes your measure on first sight, gives you a
fit, sews you up and follows suit until paid.

* * * * *

=TALK= A continuous performance playing daily and nightly
engagements, with Woman as the star and Man confined in the
Family Circle.

* * * * *

=TELEGRAM=

[Illustration]

A form of corresponden