* * * * *

=YULE-LOG= A Christmas protege of the grate, too young to smoke,
too tough to burn and too green to warm up to anybody.

* * * * *

=YOUTH= The dynamo that makes the world go round; a product of its
own generation, with its wires carrying Power into the high
places of Earth and with its currents of Thought
short-circuited only by bigoted Old Age.

* * * * *

=ZEALOT= One who loves morality so well he will commit crime to
maintain it.

* * * * *

=ZEBRA= The crook among horses, condemned to wear stripes for
life.

* * * * *

=ZERO= Originally, nothing; but now meaning a good deal on a
thermometer or bank-draft, and comprising two-thirds of the
400.

* * * * *

=ZIGZAG= The popular route after a heavy dinner. Old adage, "The
longest way round is the drunkard's way home!"

* * * * *

=ZOUAVE=

[Illustration]

The original Mrs. Bloomer.

_Postage and Postal Information_.

_How to Mail a Letter_.

After writing it, place it in a square or oblong envelope--round
ones are no longer fashionable--seal it on the back and write a
legible address on the front; then take a two-cent stamp, give it a
good licking and retire it to the corner--the upper, right-hand
corner, on the outside--never inside, as the postmaster is not a
clairvoyant. Drop it in a letter-box and trust to luck. If it's a
love letter, it will probably reach her all right, for Cupid is a
faithful postman and carries a stout pair of wings. If it's a bill,
by all means have it registered; otherwise, your debtor will swear
he never got it. If it's cash for your tailor, heed the post-office
warning, "Don't send money through the mails." Wait until you happen
to meet him on the street. If he sees you first, you lose.

=First-class Matter.=

Anything you are ashamed to have the postmaster or postmistress
read, and therefore seal up, is known as first-class matter. Also,
postal cards, where you're only allowed to argue on one side. If you
think your letter should travel slowly, invest ten cents in a
Special Delivery Stamp. This will insure a nice, leisurely journey,
lasting from one to two days longer than by the cheap two-cent
route.