early peas! At the same time, the evil to be remedied was so
overgrown, and a monster evil to be disposed of is so much greater an
undertaking than a mere new measure to be carried, that I think it no
exaggeration, but at worst only what we classic writers call
synecdoche, to say, as I did at the beginning of this paper, that I went
out to build a barn.
What brilliant success would have crowned heroic effort, if knowledge
had been, as the old copy-books used to say it was, power! It was clear
enough what needed to be done, and there was abundance of material to do
it with,--plenty of boards, a little rough, to be sure, and plenty of
nails, a little rusty. But boards are so uncommonly heavy! and a ladder
affords a footing at once so contracted and so uncertain! and a hammer
has such a will of its own, coming down with ill-timed fervor in the
most unexpected places! And when a board has been lifted and pulled and
balanced by main force into position, it takes both hands to hold it
there; and then how are you going to drive in the nails to make it stay,
I should like to know, especially with your ladder continually
threatening a change of base? I am confident, moreover, that our boards
were made of mahogany, or some other impenetrable substance; for when,
by dexterous manipulation, by close crowding up against them, and
holding them up with my elbows, I at length proceeded to strike an
effective blow, do you think the nail went in? Not in the least. It did
everything else. It skewed off to one side, it doubled up, it snapped
short, it plunged about frantically whenever it was touched, to say
nothing of the not innumerous occasions on which the stroke aimed at its
unprincipled head fell with crushing force--elsewhere. Then my strength
would begin to fail, and the board would slowly, slowly slide away from
me, till I let it go, and it dashed with a crash to the ground.
Then, to use the language of the poet,--
"A man I know,
But shall not discover,
Since ears are dull,
And time discloses,"
was aroused to unwonted activity by the pounding, and sauntered out into
the midst of the _melee_. I do not know how long he had been watching
me; for I was so absorbed in my architectural problem as to be dead to
the outer world; but into the recesses of my complications penetrated a
sound which seemed very much like what the world's people call
a--a--a--snicker! I looked around, and there he was. Very sober, very
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