st to say he's
been, don't you know")._ 'Jove--_my Aunt_! Nip out before she spots
me ... Stop, though, suppose she _has_ spotted me? Never can tell with
gig-lamps ... better not risk it.

[_Is "spotted" while hesitating._

_His Aunt._ I didn't recognise you till just this moment, JOHN, my boy.
I was just wishing I had someone to read out all the extracts in the
Catalogue for me; now we can go round together.

[JOHN _affects a dutiful delight at this suggestion, and wonders
mentally if he can get away in time to go to afternoon tea with those
pretty Chesterton Girls_.

_An Uncle (who has taken_ MASTER TOMMY _out for the afternoon)._ This is
the way to make your English History _real_ to you, my boy!

[TOMMY, _who had cherished hopes of Covent Garden Circus, privately
thinks that English History is a sufficiently unpleasant reality as it
is, and conceives a bitter prejudice against the entire Tudor Period on
the spot_.

_The Intelligent Person._ Ha! armour of the period, you see! (_Feels
bound to make an intelligent remark._) 'Stonishing how the whole art of
war has been transformed since then, eh? Now--to me--(_as if he was
conscious of being singular in this respect_)--to _me_, all this is most
interesting. Coming as I do, fresh from FROUDE----

_His Companion (a Flippant Person)._ Don't speak so loud. If they know
you've come in here fresh, you'll get turned out!

_Patronising Persons (inspecting magnificent suit of russet and gilt
armour)._ 'Pon my word, no idea they turned out such good work in those
times--very creditable to them, really.

BEFORE THE PORTRAITS.

_The Uncle._ Now, TOMMY, you remember what became of KATHERINE of
Aragon, I'm sure? No, no--tut--tut--_she_ wasn't executed! I'm afraid
you're getting rather rusty with these long holidays. Remind me to speak
to your mother about setting you a chapter or so of history to read
every day when we get home, will you?

_Tommy (to himself)._ It _is_ hard lines on a chap having a Sneak for an
Uncle! Catch me swotting to please _him_!

_'Arry._ There's old 'ENERY THE EIGHTH, you see--that's 'im right
enough; him as 'ad all those wives, and cut every one of their 'eds off!

_'Arriet (admiringly)._ Ah, I knew we shouldn't want a Catalogue.

_The Int. P._ Wonderfully HOLBEIN'S caught the character of the
man--the--er--curious compound of obstinacy, violence, and good-humour,
sensuality, and--and so on. No mistaking a HOLBEIN--you c