the feet of those above them to
increase the energy of their service; then as foot-_man_, which implies
that they have been promoted to the more agreeable right of
administering instead of receiving the above dishonourable applications;
and lastly, for promotion could go no higher in the family, he had been
raised to the dignity of butler in the service of Mr. Witherington
senior. Jonathan then fell in love, for butlers are guilty of
indiscretions as well as their masters: neither he nor his fair flame,
who was a lady's-maid in another family, notwithstanding that they had
witnessed the consequences of this error in others, would take warning;
they gave warning, and they married.

Like most butlers and ladies'-maids who pair off, they set up a
public-house; and it is but justice to the lady's-maid to say that she
would have preferred an eating-house, but was overruled by Jonathan, who
argued, that although people would drink when they were not dry, they
never would eat unless they were hungry.

Now, although there was truth in the observation, this is certain, that
business did not prosper: it has been surmised that Jonathan's tall,
lank, lean figure injured his custom, as people are but too much
inclined to judge of the goodness of the ale by the rubicund face and
rotundity of the landlord, and therefore inferred that there could be no
good beer where mine host was the picture of famine. There certainly is
much in appearances in this world; and it appears, that in consequence
of Jonathan's cadaverous appearance, he very soon appeared in the
_Gazette_; but what ruined Jonathan in one profession procured him
immediate employment in another. An appraiser, upholsterer, and
undertaker, who was called in to value the fixtures, fixed his eye upon
Jonathan, and knowing the value of his peculiarly lugubrious appearance,
and having a half-brother of equal height, offered him immediate
employment as a mute. Jonathan soon forgot to mourn his own loss of a
few hundreds in his new occupation of mourning the loss of thousands;
and his erect, stiff, statue-like carriage, and long melancholy face, as
he stood at the portals of those who had entered the portals of the next
world, were but too often a sarcasm upon the grief of the inheritors.
Even grief is worth nothing in this trafficking world unless it is paid
for. Jonathan buried many, and at last buried his wife. So far all was
well; but at last he buried his master, the undertake