Don't think
to plead illness as an excuse with me; or babies as an excuse with me;
for all sick persons and young children (I hope you know the
church-service, but I'm afraid not) I am determined to Put Down. And if
you attempt, desperately and ungratefully, and impiously, and
fraudulently attempt, to drown yourself, or hang yourself, I'll have no
pity on you, for I have made up my mind to Put all suicide Down! If
there is one thing," said the Alderman, with his self-satisfied smile,
"on which I can be said to have made up my mind more than on another, it
is to Put suicide Down. So don't try it on. That's the phrase, isn't it!
Ha, ha! now we understand each other."

Toby knew not whether to be agonized or glad, to see that Meg had turned
deadly white, and dropped her lover's hand.

"As for you, you dull dog," said the Alderman, turning with even
increased cheerfulness and urbanity to the young smith, "what are you
thinking of being married for? What do you want to be married for, you
silly fellow? If I was a fine, young, strapping chap like you, I should
be ashamed of being milksop enough to pin myself to a woman's
apron-strings! Why, she'll be an old woman before you're a middle-aged
man! And a pretty figure you'll cut then, with a draggle-tailed wife and
a crowd of squalling children crying after you wherever you go!"

Oh, he knew how to banter the common people, Alderman Cute!

"There! Go along with you," said the Alderman, "and repent. Don't make
such a fool of yourself as to get married on New Year's Day. You'll
think very differently of it, long before next New Year's Day: a trim
young fellow like you, with all the girls looking after you. There! Go
along with you!"

They went along. Not arm in arm, or hand in hand, or interchanging
bright glances; but she in tears; he gloomy and down-looking. Were these
the hearts that had so lately made old Toby's leap up from its
faintness? No, no. The Alderman (a blessing on his head!) had Put _them_
Down.

"As you happen to be here," said the Alderman to Toby, "you shall carry
a letter for me. Can you be quick? You're an old man."

Toby, who had been looking after Meg, quite stupidly, made shift to
murmur out that he was very quick, and very strong.

"How old are you?" inquired the Alderman.

"I am over sixty, sir," said Toby.

"Oh! This man's a great deal past the average age, you know," cried Mr.
Filer, breaking in as if his patience would bear some trying, but