don't give your pore ol' landlady much 'ope,' said Robinson.
'Take Lunnon! Blimy, you're more like to take root in them trenches o'
yours--unless we comes over again an' chases you out.'

Again there was no reply. Private Robinson shook his head. ''E's as
'ard to draw as the pay that's owin' to me,' he said. 'You 'ave a go,
Smithy.'

Smithy, a believer in the retort direct and no trafficker in the finer
shades of sarcasm, cleared his throat and lifted up his voice. ''Ere,
why don't you speak when you're spoke to, you lop-eared lager-beer
barrel, you. Take your fice out o' that 'orse-flesh cat's-meat
sossidge an' speak up, you baby-butcherin' hen-roost robber.'

'That ain't no good, Smithy,' Private Robinson pointed out. 'Y'see,
callin' 'im 'ard names only makes 'im think 'e's got you angry
like--that 'e's drawed you.'

(Another voice called something in German.)

'Just tell them other monkeys to stop their chatter, Soho,' he called
out, 'an' get back in their cage. If they want to talk to gen'l'men
they must talk English.'

'I like your d--d impertinence,' said the voice scornfully. 'We'll
make you learn German, though, when we've taken England.'

'Oh, it's Englan' you're takin' now,' said Private Robinson. 'But all
you'll ever take of Englan' will be same as you took before--a tuppenny
tip if you serves the soup up nice, or a penny tip if you gives an
Englishman a proper clean shave.'

The rifle opposite banged again and the bullet slapped into the top of
the parapet. 'That drawed 'im again,' chuckled Private Robinson, 'but
I wonder why the corp'ril didn't get a whack at 'im.'

He pulled away a small sandbag that blocked a loophole, and, holding
his rifle by the butt at arm-length, poked the muzzle out slowly. A
moment later two reports rang out--one from in front and one behind.

'I got 'im,' said the corporal three minutes later. 'One bloke was
looking with a periscope and I saw a little cap an' one eye come over
the parapet. By the way 'is 'ands jerked up an' 'is 'ead jerked back
when I fired, I fancy 'e copped it right enough.'

Private Robinson got to work with a piece of chalk on a board and
hoisted over the parapet a notice, 'R.I.P. 1 Boshe, late lamented Soho
garcon.'

'Pity I dunno the German for "late lamented," but they've always plenty
that knows English enough to unnerstand,' he commented.

He spent the next ten minutes ragging the Germans, directing his most
brilliant effort