d took another, laughing in her
eyes in a way in which the American girl is a prodigious adept; but
completely deceived by her nearly every time, knowing that she was
amusing herself at my expense, I said nothing. The Americans have a
peculiar term for the mental attitude I had during this trial. I "sawed
wood." The saying was particularly applicable to my situation. My young
companion was most engaging, and presently began to talk of the
superiority of America, her inventions, etc., mentioning the telephone,
printing, and others. "Yes, wonderful," I replied; "but the Chinese had
the telephone ages ago. They invented printing, gunpowder, the mariner's
compass, and it would be difficult," I said, "for you to mention an
object which China has not had for ages." She was amazed that I, a
Chinaman, should "claim everything in sight."

There is a peculiar etiquette relating to every course in a dinner. The
soup is eaten with a bowl-like spoon, and it is the grossest breach to
place this in your mouth, or approach it, endwise. You approach the
side and suck the soup from it. To make a noise would attract attention.
The etiquette of the fish is to eat it with a fork; to use the knife
even to cut the fish would be unpardonable, or to touch it to take out
the bones; the fork alone must be used. The punch course is often an
embarrassment to the previous wines, and is followed by what the French
call the _entree_. In fact, while the Americans boast that everything
American is the best, French customs are followed at banquets
invariably, this being one of the strange inconsistencies of the
Americans. Their clothes are copied from the English, though they will
claim in the same breath that their tailors are the best in the world.
For wines they claim to be unsurpassed, producing the finest; yet the
wines on their tables are French or bear French labels. Game is
served--a grouse or perhaps a hare, and then a vast roast, possibly
venison, or beef, and there are vegetables, followed by a salad of some
kind. Then comes the dessert--an iced cream, cakes, nuts, raisins,
cheese, and coffee with brandy, and then cigars and vermuth or some
cordial. After such a dinner of three hours a Southern gentleman clapped
me on the back and said, "Great dinner, that; but let's go and get a
drink of something solid," and I saw him take what he termed "two
fingers" of Kentucky Bourbon whisky--a very stiff drink. I often
wondered how the guests could stand