heard of Dolly
Leonard. We must never spoil other people's pleasures by flaunting our
own personal griefs. I expect my daughter to conduct herself this
evening with perfect cheerfulness and grace. She owes it to her guests;
and"--mother's chin went high up in the air--"I refuse to receive in my
house again any one of you girls who mars my daughter's _debutante_
party by tears or hysterics. You may go now."

We went, silently berating the brutal harshness of grown people. We
went, airily, flutteringly, luminously, like a bunch of butterflies. At
the head of the stairs the music caught us up in a maelstrom of
excitement and whirled us down into the throng of pleasure. And when we
reached the drawing-room and found mother we felt as though we were
walking on air. We thought it was self-control. We were not old enough
to know it was mostly "youth."

My _debutante_ party was the gayest party ever given in our town. We
seven girls were like sprites gone mad. We were like fairy torches that
kindled the whole throng. We flitted among the palms like
will-o'-the-wisps. We danced the toes out of our satin slippers. We led
our old boy-friends a wild chase of young love and laughter, and
because our hearts were like frozen lead within us we sought, as it
were, "to warm both hands at the fires of life." We trifled with older
men. We flirted, as it were, with our fathers.

My _debutante_ party turned out a revel. I have often wondered if my
mother was frightened. I don't know what went on in the other girls'
brains, but mine were seared with the old-world recklessness--"Eat,
drink, and be merry, for to-morrow we die." _We_ die!

I had a lover--a boy lover. His name was Gordon. He was twenty-one years
old, and he had courted me with boyish seriousness for three years.
Mother had always pooh-poohed his love-story and said: "Wait, wait. Why,
my daughter isn't even _out_ yet. Wait till she's out."

And Gordon had narrowed his near-sighted eyes ominously and shut his
lips tight. "Very well," he had answered, "I will wait till she is
out--but no longer."

He was rich, he was handsome, he was well-born, he was strong, but more
than all that he held my fancy with a certain thrilling tenacity that
frightened me while it lured me. And I had always looked forward to my
_debutante_ party on my eighteenth birthday with the tingling
realization, half joy, half fear, that on that day I should have to
settle once and forever with--_man_.

I