hours afterwards I was at sea. My attention, my faculties were wholly
absorbed by the Emperor, his words, his disclosures, his plans. I had
neither leisure nor opportunity to think of myself. As soon as I was
quite out at sea, my ideas were filled by the extraordinary part which
chance had assigned to me. I contemplated it with pride, and I
returned my thanks to destiny for having selected me as the instrument
by which its impenetrable decrees were to be accomplished. Perhaps no
man was ever placed in so "imposing" a situation. I was the arbiter of
the fate of the Bourbons, and of the Emperor, of France and Europe.
With one word I could destroy Napoleon; with one word I could save
Louis. But Louis was nothing to me: in him I only saw a sovereign who
had been forced upon the throne by foreign hands still imbrued with
French blood. In Napoleon I saw the sovereign to whom France had
freely offered the crown as the reward of twenty years of danger and
of glory. The perspective of the evils which the attempt of Napoleon
might bring upon France did not arise before my imagination. I was
persuaded that all foreign powers (England excepted), would remain
neutral; and that the French would receive Napoleon as a deliverer,
and as a father. Still less did I consider myself as engaged in
treason or conspiracy against the Bourbons. Since I had taken the oath
of allegiance to Napoleon, I considered him as my legitimate
sovereign; and I rejoiced to think that the confidence which Napoleon
reposed in me had induced him to call upon me to concur in restoring
to France the liberty, the power, and the glory of which the country
had been unjustly deprived. I enjoyed, by anticipation, the public
eulogiums, which, after his success, he would bestow upon my courage,
my self-devotion, my patriotism. In short, I abandoned myself with
rapture and with pride to all the thoughts, and all the generous
resolutions which can be inspired by the love of fame and the love of
our country.

The dialogues which had taken place between me and the Emperor
continued impressed on my memory; yet, lest I might vary them, or omit
any part, I employed my time during the voyage in recalling his own
expressions, and in classing his questions and my answers. I
afterwards got the whole by heart, just as a scholar learns his
lesson, in order that I might be able to affirm to M. X*** that I was
making a faithful and literal report to him of all that the Emperor
had sa