t only touched her bows below the
water-line, but had all the breath knocked out of me by them, and was
soused under water myself, as thoroughly as a Brighton bathing woman
could have done the trick for me. To this day I remember the
breathless, straining agony of the ascent, when my clothes and myself
seemed heavier than lead, and the ship's deck miles above me. My
clothes--a jersey and flannel knickerbockers--dried quickly in the
scorching sun, and no grown-up ever knew of the escapade, I think.
But, the peril of it, in a shark-infested sea!

No doubt these feats helped me to the subjugation of Nelly. Yet, after
all, in sheer physical prowess, I could not really rival Fred, who
stood a full head taller than I did. But I had a deal more of finesse
than he had, made very much better use of my opportunities, and was a
far more practised poseur. Fred was well supplied with self-esteem--a
most valuable qualification in love-making--but he lacked the
introspectively seeing eye. He might compel admiration, in his rude
fashion. He could never force a tear or steal a sigh.

Fred--Fred without a surname, I wonder what has been your lot in life,
and where you air your prosperity to-day! For, prosperous I feel
certain you are. And, who knows? Nelly may be Mrs. Fred to-day, for
aught I can tell. When all is said and done, you all of you had more
in common, one with another, and each with all, than I had with any of
you!

And that reminds me of a trifle overlooked. During all my association
with these my contemporaries on board the _Ariadne_, but with special
keenness in the beginning, I was conscious of something outside my own
experience, which they all shared. At that time it was to me just a
something which they had and I had not; a quality I could not define.
Looking back upon it I see clearly that the thing was in part
fundamental, a flaw in my temperament; and, in part, the family sense.
They all knew what 'home' meant, in a way in which I knew it not at
all. They were more carelessly genial and less serious and preoccupied
than I was. They all had mothers, too. I do not wish to say that they
were necessarily much better off than I. They had certain qualities
which I lacked, the product of experiences I had never enjoyed. And I
had various qualities which they had not. On the whole, perhaps, I
was more mature than they were; and they, perhaps, were more happy
and care-free--certainly less self-conscious--than I was. There