d 'character' seemed far-fetched and absurd. I not only
told him I came from Myall Creek, but also named the Orphanage.

'Ah! I'm an orphantulatory one myself. You absquatulated, I presume; a
levantular movement at midnight--ran away, hey?'

I admitted it, and Mr. Perkins nodded in a pleased way, as though
discovering an accomplishment in me.

'That's what I did, too; not from an orphanage, but from the paternal
roof and shop. My father was a pedestrialatory specialist, a
shoemaker, in fact, and brought me up for that profession. But I gave
up pedestriality, finding omniferaciousness more in my line. Matter of
temperment, of course--inward, like that, with an awl, you know, or
outward, like that'--he swung his fat arms wide--'as an omnigerentual
man of affairs: an Agent. I'm naturally omnigerentual; my father was
awlicular or gimletular--like a centre-bit, y'know. Tssp! So you like
Dursley, hey? Little town takes your fancy as you see it from the
ridge? Kinduv cuddlesome and umbradewus, isn't it? Yes, I felt that
way myself when I came here looking for pedestrial work--repairs a
speciality, y' know. Whatsorterjobjerwant?'

I found that Mr. Perkins usually wound up his remarks with a question
which, irrespective of its length, was generally made to sound like
one word. The habit affected me as the application of a spur affects a
well-fed and not unwilling steed. I did not resent it, but it made me
jump. On this occasion I explained to the best of my ability that I
wanted whatever sort of job I could get, but preferably one that would
permit of my doing a little work on my own account of an evening.

'Ha! Applicacious and industrial--bettermentatious ambitions, hey?
Quite right. No good sticking to the awlicular if you've anything
of the embraceshunist in you.' He embraced his own ample bosom
with wide-flung arms, as a London cabman might on a frosty
morning. 'Man is naturally multivorous--when he's not a vegetable.
Howjerliketerworkferme?'

'Very much indeed,' said I, rising sharply to the spur.

'H'm! Tssp!' It is not easy to convey in writing any adequate idea of
this 'Tssp' sound. It seemed to be produced by pressing the tongue
against the front teeth, the jaws being closed and the lips parted,
and then sharply closing the lips while withdrawing the tongue inward.
I am enabled to furnish this minutiae by reason of the fact that I
deliberately practised Mr. Perkins's favourite habit before a
looking-glass, to s