stand for a certain borough
on the Tory ticket, but the Whig was returned unopposed on the day of
the nomination, and the candidate was subsequently attacked by Lord
Derby for not coming forward as he had promised.

The man was almost as shaky in his aspirates as in his political
propensities, and his reply was:--

'I would have stood, my lord, but there was a 'itch in the way.'

'It was the more necessary for you to come to the scratch,' was the
immediate retort.

I always find that story popular at the Carlton, where I spend my
afternoons when in London. I was proposed by Mr. James Lowther and
seconded by the Duke of Marlborough, and very much obliged have I been
to them both, for I have many acquaintances there, and it has all the
conveniences of a comfortable hotel, without having to pay extravagantly
for the privilege of looking at a waiter.

In the intervals of reading the papers and listening to other people, I
have there, as elsewhere, endeavoured to impart what I know to others
who know nothing about Ireland. They know much more about China or the
aboriginal tribes of Australia, in London, than they do on the topics
dearest to me.

An English Radical member, after a long chat with my son Maurice,
observed:--

'You actually mean to say that if Home Rule were given to Ireland you
would not be allowed to reside there?'

'Certainly not,' replied Maurice, who knew what he was talking about.

The member replied that he could not believe him, but that if he had
known that that was the real nature of the Bill he would never have
voted for it.

I could not desire a better example of English wisdom on this
subject--one which Lord Rosebery has consigned to a distant date in
futurity, foreseeing that if the Opposition are to be handicapped with
Home Rule they will not stand a forty to one chance at the next
election.

That election will, of course, turn on Protection, and I am therefore
tempted to quote from an article I contributed to _Murray's Magazine_ in
July 1887, entitled 'After the Crimes Bill, What Next?' for I feel my
forecast of over fourteen years ago may serve a useful purpose to-day.
It ran thus:--

'In my next suggestion I feel that I am treading on dangerous ground;
still, having undertaken to suggest a remedy for Irish discontent and
anarchy, I must not shrink from offending the prejudices of some of the
wise men of England.

'Ireland is an agricultural country. There are in Ulster, as in