human pity and disgorge
some tip on which I can act. It is that reflection that keeps me so
constantly at Mrs. Peagrim's house." Uncle Chris shivered slightly. "A
fearsome woman, my dear! Weighs a hundred and eighty pounds and as
skittish as a young lamb in springtime! She makes me dance with her!"
Uncle Chris' lips quivered in a spasm of pain, and he was silent for a
moment. "Thank Heaven I was once a footballer!" he said reverently.

"But what do you live on?" asked Jill. "I know you are going to be a
millionaire next Tuesday week, but how are you getting along in the
meantime?"

Uncle Chris coughed.

"Well, as regards actual living expenses, I have managed by a shrewd
business stroke to acquire a small but sufficient income. I live in a
boarding-house--true--but I contrive to keep the wolf away from its
door--which, by the by, badly needs a lick of paint. Have you ever
heard of Nervino?"

"I don't think so. It sounds like a patent medicine."

"It _is_ a patent medicine." Uncle Chris stopped and looked anxiously
at her. "Jill, you're looking pale, my dear."

"Am I? We had rather a tiring rehearsal."

"Are you sure," said Uncle Chris seriously, "that it is only that? Are
you sure that your vitality has not become generally lowered by the
fierce rush of Metropolitan life? Are you aware of the things that can
happen to you if you allow the red corpuscles of your blood to become
devitalised? I had a friend...."

"Stop! You're scaring me to death!"

Uncle Chris gave his moustache a satisfied twirl.

"Just what I meant to do, my dear. And, when I had scared you
sufficiently--you wouldn't wait for the story of my consumptive
friend. Pity! It's one of my best!--I should have mentioned that I had
been having much the same trouble myself until lately, but the other
day I happened to try Nervino, the great specific.... I was giving you
an illustration of myself in action, my dear. I went to these Nervino
people--happened to see one of their posters and got the idea in a
flash--I went to them and said, 'Here am I, a presentable man of
persuasive manners and a large acquaintance among the leaders of New
York Society. What would it be worth to you to have me hint from time
to time at dinner parties and so forth that Nervino is the rich man's
panacea?' I put the thing lucidly to them. I said, 'No doubt you have
a thousand agents in the city, but have you one who does not look like
an agent and won't talk like an agent?