next."

Poor Lady Alicia, who had come with a bucketful of sympathy ready to be
gulped down by this unfortunate gentleman, was only able to stammer, "I--I
really don't know, Mr----"

"Hamilton," said Mr Beveridge, unblushingly. "At least that name belongs
to me as much as anything can be said to in a world where my creditors
claim my money and Dr Congleton my person."

"You are confined and poor, you mean?" asked Lady Alicia, beginning to see
her way again.

"Poor and confined, to put them in their proper order, for if I had the
wherewithal to purchase a balloon I should certainly cease to be
confined."

His admirer found it hard to reply adequately to this, and Mr Beveridge
continued, "To return to the delicate subject from which we strayed, what
would you like me to do,--put my arm round your waist, relate my troubles,
or turn my back on you?"

"Are--are those the three ways you spoke of--to make women like you, I
mean?" Lady Alicia ventured to ask, though she was beginning to wish the
sofa was larger.

"They are examples of the three classical methods: cuddling, humbugging,
and piquing. Which do you prefer?"

"Tell me about your--your troubles," she answered, gaining courage a
little.

"You belong to the sex which makes no mention of figs and spades," he
rejoined; "but I understand you to mean that you prefer humbugging."

He drew a long face, sighed twice, and looking tenderly into Lady Alicia's
blue eyes, began in a gentle, reminiscent voice, "My boyhood was troubled
and unhappy: no kind words, no caresses. I was beaten by a cruel
stepfather, ignored and insulted for my physical deformities by a
heartless stepmother."

He stopped to sigh again, and Lady Alicia, with a boldness that surprised
herself, and a perspicacity that would have surprised her friends, asked,
"How could they--I mean, were they _both_ step?"

"Several steps," he replied; "in fact, quite a long journey."

With this explanation Lady Alicia was forced to remain satisfied; but as
he had paused a second time, and seemed to be immersed in the study of his
shoes, she inquired again, "You spoke of physical infirmities; do you
mean----?"

"Deformities," he corrected; "up to the age of fourteen years I could only
walk sideways, and my hair parted in the middle."

He spoke so seriously that these unusual maladies seemed to her the most
touching misfortunes she had ever heard of. She murmured gently, "Yes?"

"As the years advanced," Mr