and then marching them, securely handcuffed, up the
middle aisle of the parish church. 'Twould be a touching sight for Mr.
PLUMPTREE, and such hard-sweating devotees. For the benefit of old
offenders, we would also counsel a little wholesome private whipping in
the vestry.

Q.

* * * * *

PUNCH'S PENCILLINGS.--No. XIII.

[Illustration: MR. SANCHO BULL AND HIS STATE PHYSICIAN.

"Though surrounded with luxuries, the Doctor would not allow Sancho to
partake of them, and dismissed each dish as it was brought in by the
servants."--_Vide_ DON QUIXOTE.]

* * * * *

SWEET AUTUMN DAYS.

Sweet Autumn days, sweet Autumn days,
When, harvest o'er, the reaper slumbers,
How gratefully I hymn your praise,
In modest but melodious numbers.
But if I'm ask'd why 'tis I make
Autumn the theme of inspiration,
I'll tell the truth, and no mistake--
With Autumn comes the long vacation.
Of falsehoods I'll not shield me with a tissue--
Autumn I love--because _no writs then issue_.

Others may hail the joys of Spring,
When birds and buds alike are growing;
Some the Summer days may sing,
When sowing, mowing, on are going.
Old Winter, with his hoary locks,
His frosty face and visage murky,
May suit some very jolly cocks,
Who like roast-beef, mince-pies, and turkey:
But give me Autumn--yes, I'm Autumn's child--
For then--_no declarations can be filed_.

* * * * *

TOM CONNOR'S DILEMMA.

A TRUE TALE.

SHOWING HOW READY WIT MAY SUPPLY THE PLACE OF READY MONEY.

Tom Connor was a perfect specimen of the happy, careless, improvident
class of Irishmen who think it "time enough to bid the devil good morrow
when they meet him," and whose chief delight seems to consist in getting
into all manner of scrapes, for the mere purpose of displaying their
ingenuity of getting out of them again. Tom, at the time I knew him, had
passed the meridian of his life; "he had," as he used to say himself,
"given up battering," and had luckily a small annuity fallen to him by the
demise of a considerate old aunt who had kindly popped off in the nick of
time. And on this independence Tom had retired to spend all that remained
to him of a merry life at a pleasant little sea-port town in the West of
Ireland, celebrated for its card-parties and its oyster-clubs. These
latter social meetings were held