a Resolution of believing
nothing I hear; and I contemn the Men given to Narration under the
Appellation of a Matter of Fact Man: And according to me, a Matter of
Fact Man is one whose Life and Conversation is spent in the Report of
what is not Matter of Fact.

I remember when Prince _Eugene_ was here, there was no knowing his
Height or Figure, till you, _Mr._ SPECTATOR, gave the Publick
Satisfaction in that Matter. In Relations, the Force of the Expression
lies very often more in the Look, the Tone of Voice, or the Gesture,
than the Words themselves; which being repeated in any other Manner by
the Undiscerning, bear a very different Interpretation from their
original Meaning. I must confess, I formerly have turn'd this Humour
of mine to very good Account; for whenever I heard any Narration
utter'd with extraordinary vehemence, and grounded upon considerable
Authority, I was always ready to lay any Wager that it was not so.
Indeed I never pretended to be so rash, as to fix the Matter in any
particular Way in Opposition to theirs; but as there are a hundred
Ways of any thing happening, besides that it has happen'd, I only
controverted its falling out in that one Manner as they settled it,
and left it to the Ninety nine other Ways, and consequently had more
Probability of Success. I had arrived at a particular skill in warming
a Man so far in his Narration, as to make him throw in a little of the
Marvelous, and then, if he has much Fire, the next Degree is the
Impossible. Now this is always the Time for fixing the Wager. But this
requires the nicest Management, otherwise very probably the Dispute
may arise to the old Determination by Battle. In these Conceits I have
been very fortunate, and have won some Wagers of those who have
professedly valued themselves upon Intelligence, and have put
themselves to great Charge and Expence to be misinformed considerably
sooner than the Rest of the World.

Having got a comfortable Sum by this my Opposition to publick Report,
I have brought my self now to so great a Perfection in Inattention,
more especially to Party Relations, that at the same time I seem with
greedy Ears to devour up the Discourse, I certainly don't know one
Word of it, but pursue my own Course of Thought, whether upon Business
or Amusement, with much Tranquility: I say Inattention, because a late
Act of Parliament has secur'd all Party-Lyars f