want to give private lessons;
there was nothing I could do in the lower schools. At last I succeeded
in getting an appointment as professor in the gymnasium here.'

'As professor of what?' asked Lezhnyov.

'Professor of literature. I can tell you I never started on any work
with such zest as I did on this. The thought of producing an effect upon
the young inspired me. I spent three weeks over the composition of my
opening lecture.'

'Have you got it, Dmitri?' interrupted Lezhnyov.

'No! I lost it somewhere. It went off fairly well, and was liked. I can
see now the faces of my listeners--good young faces, with an expression
of pure-souled attention and sympathy, and even of amazement. I mounted
the platform and read my lecture in a fever; I thought it would
fill more than an hour, but I had finished it in twenty minutes. The
inspector was sitting there--a dry old man in silver spectacles and
a short wig--he sometimes turned his head in my direction. When I had
finished, he jumped up from his seat and said to me, "Good, but rather
over their heads, obscure, and too little said about the subject." But
the pupils followed me with appreciation in their looks--indeed they
did. Ah, that is how youth is so precious! I gave a second written
lecture, and a third. After that I began to lecture extempore.'

'And you had success?' asked Lezhnyov.

'I had a great success. I gave my audience all that was in my soul.
Among them were two or three really remarkable boys; the rest did
not understand me much. I must confess though that even those who did
understand me sometimes embarrassed me by their questions. But I did
not lose heart. They all loved me; I gave them all full marks in
examinations. But then an intrigue was started against me--or no! it
was not an intrigue at all; it simply was, that I was not in my proper
place. I was a hindrance to the others, and they were a hindrance to me.
I lectured to the gymnasium pupils in a way lectures are not given
every day, even to students; they carried away very little from my
lectures.... I myself did not know the facts enough. Besides, I was
not satisfied with the limited sphere assigned to me--you know that is
always my weakness. I wanted radical reforms, and I swear to you that
these reforms were both sensible and easy to carry out. I hoped to carry
them through the director, a good and honest man, over whom I had at
first some influence. His wife aided me. I have not, brother, me