hat played around
his lips. Again wave upon wave of sickening self-loathing flooded from
her soul every memory of the bliss of that supreme moment. Even now she
could feel the bite of the cold, half humorous scorn in the eyes that
had opened upon her as she withdrew her lips from his. On the back of
this came another memory, sharp and stabbing, that this man was ill,
perhaps terribly ill. "We are a little anxious about him," his sister
had said, and she had mentioned the word "blood-poisoning." Of the full
meaning of that dread word Kathleen had little knowledge, but it
held for her a horror of something unspeakably dangerous. He had been
restless, sleepless, suffering for the last two days and two nights.
That very night and that very hour he was perhaps tossing in fever. An
uncontrollable longing came over her to go to him. Perhaps she might
give him a few hours' rest, might indeed help to give him the turn to
health again. After all, what mattered her feelings. What difference
if he should despise her, provided she brought him help in an hour of
crisis. Physically weary with the long struggle through which she had
been passing during the last ten days, sick at heart, and torn with
anxiety for the man she loved, she threw herself upon her bed and
abandoned herself to a storm of tears. Her mother came announcing tea,
but this she declined, pleading headache and a desire to sleep. But
no sooner had her mother withdrawn than she rose from her bed and with
deliberate purpose sat herself down in front of her mirror again. She
would have this out with herself now. "Well, you are a beauty, sure
enough," she said, addressing her swollen and disfigured countenance.
"Why can't you behave naturally? You are acting like a fool and you are
not honest with yourself. Come now, tell the truth for a few minutes
if you can. Do you want to go and see this man or not? Answer truly."
"Well, I do then." The blue eyes looked back defiantly at her. "Why? to
help him? for his sake? Come, the truth." "Yes, for his sake, at least
partly." "And for your own sake, too? Come now, none of that. Never mind
the blushing." "Yes, for my own sake, too." "Chiefly for your own sake?"
"No, I do not think so. Chiefly I wish to help him." "Then why not go?"
Ah, this is a poser. She looks herself fairly in the eye, distinctly
puzzled. Why should she not simply go to him and help him through a bad
hour? With searching, deliberate persistence she demanded an answ