fourth day of my stay in Bologna, I received by express a long
letter from Therese. She informed me that, on the day after my escape
from Rimini, Baron Vais had presented to her the Duke de Castropignano,
who, having heard her sing, had offered her one thousand ounces a year,
and all travelling expenses paid, if she would accept an engagement as
prima-donna at the San Carlo Theatre, at Naples, where she would have to
go immediately after her Rimini engagement. She had requested and
obtained a week to come to a decision. She enclosed two documents, the
first was the written memorandum of the duke's proposals, which she sent
in order that I should peruse it, as she did not wish to sign it without
my consent; the second was a formal engagement, written by herself, to
remain all her life devoted to me and at my service. She added in her
letter that, if I wished to accompany her to Naples, she would meet me
anywhere I might appoint, but that, if I had any objection to return to
that city, she would immediately refuse the brilliant offer, for her only
happiness was to please me in all things.

For the first time in my life I found myself in need of thoughtful
consideration before I could make up my mind. Therese's letter had
entirely upset all my ideas, and, feeling that I could not answer it a
once, I told the messenger to call the next day.

Two motives of equal weight kept the balance wavering; self-love and love
for Therese. I felt that I ought not to require Therese to give up such
prospects of fortune; but I could not take upon myself either to let her
go to Naples without me, or to accompany her there. On one side, I
shuddered at the idea that my love might ruin Therese's prospects; on the
other side, the idea of the blow inflicted on my self-love, on my pride,
if I went to Naples with her, sickened me.

How could I make up my mind to reappear in that city, in the guise of a
cowardly fellow living at the expense of his mistress or his wife? What
would my cousin Antonio, Don Polo and his dear son, Don Lelio Caraffa,
and all the patricians who knew me, have said? The thought of Lucrezia
and of her husband sent a cold shiver through me. I considered that, in
spite of my love for Therese, I should become very miserable if everyone
despised me. Linked to her destiny as a lover or as a husband, I would be
a degraded, humbled, and mean sycophant. Then came the thought, Is this
to be the end of all my hopes? The die was cast,