up much love for
him, and no one can blame me for it either. But, when I came to Munich,
I felt terribly forlorn and forsaken at first, for I didn't know a
soul, and I thought to myself I'll just take a look at him and see what
he's like. So I waited in front of his house, with my packet in my
pocket, until he went out in the evening. I tell you truly, Herr
Lieutenant, I was so miserable and unhappy that even if he had only
looked just the least bit kind I would have been very glad to go up and
say to him: 'I am Zenz; people say I am the very image of my poor dear
mother, and my dear mother was your daughter, and now she is dead and
sends you this letter!' But when he came out of his house so stern and
still, and looked neither to the right or left, but only stared at the
ground, just as if he didn't care anything at all for the dear world
all about him--hu! it made my flesh creep! Nothing in the world shall
ever force me to have anything to do with him, thought I to myself; and
I let him go by as if he had been a perfect stranger. Still, I thought
I would leave the letter for him, so I made some inquiries about him of
his landlady; And I heard from her that he hides in his lodgings like
an owl in a hollow tree; no one comes to see him, and he goes to see
nobody; he gets no letters and he writes none. There was a little
looking-glass hanging in the landlady's room, and I happened to see my
face in it, and it looked to me as if I had an ashy-gray skin and faded
hair. I think most likely the glass was colored blue, but for all that
I felt as if it was warning me--'This is the way you'll look before
long, if you shut yourself up with your grandfather in his dark den
where no sunbeam will ever reach you.' So I went away and took good
care not to deliver my packet, for it might have betrayed me. And that
very same evening I got acquainted with Black Pepi, and went to live
with her, and never sent him my poor, dear mother's packet until I went
into the country. But how he found out where I was, or what he wants of
me--for he must have the sense to see that I don't want to have
anything to do with him--I--"
"Zenz," interrupted the lieutenant, "be a sensible girl, and at least
get acquainted with your only relation before you rebel against your
mother's last wish. I can assure you you wouldn't have any fault to
find with him; and if he should treat you like a prisoner or try to
coerce you in any way--are not your old friends
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