official) life and death; so much of feeling mixes with
the more abstract question, which would be easily disposed of if it
stood alone. (_Diary._)

It was February 3 before Mr. Gladstone wrote his last note from his desk
at the board of trade, thanking the prime minister for a thousand acts
of kindness which he trusted himself not readily to forget. The feeling
of the occasion he described to Manning:--

Do you know that daily intercourse and co-operation with men upon
matters of great anxiety and moment interweaves much of one's being
with theirs, and parting with them, leaving them under the pressure
of their work and setting myself free, feels, I think, much like
dying: more like it than if I were turning my back altogether upon
public life. I have received great kindness, and so far as personal
sentiments are concerned, I believe they are as well among us as
they can be.

One other incident he describes to his wife:--

Peel thought I should ask an audience of the Queen on my
retirement, and accordingly at the palace to-day (Feb. 3) he
intimated, and then the lord-in-waiting, as is the usage, formally
requested it. I saw the Queen in her private sitting-room. As she
did not commence speaking immediately after the first bow, I
thought it my part to do so; and I said, 'I have had the boldness
to request an audience, madam, that I might say with how much pain
it is that I find myself separated from your Majesty's service, and
how gratefully I feel your Majesty's many acts of kindness.' She
replied that she regretted it very much, and that it was a great
loss. I resumed that I had the greatest comfort I could enjoy under
the circumstances in the knowledge that my feelings towards her
Majesty's person and service, and also towards Sir R. Peel and my
late colleagues, were altogether unchanged by my retirement. After
a few words more she spoke of the state of the country and the
reduced condition of Chartism, of which I said I believed the main
feeder was want of employment. At the pauses I watched her eye for
the first sign to retire. But she asked me about you before we
concluded. Then one bow at the spot and another at the door, which
was very near, and so it was all over.

_Feb. 4._--Ruminated on the dangers of my explanation right and
left, and it made me