ve their own conditions
to ruin the nation. Nay, this dutiful manner of capitulating, had spread
so far, that every understrapper began at length to perk up and assume:
he "expected a regiment"; or "his son must be a major"; or "his brother
a collector", else he threatened to vote "according to his conscience."

Another of their glorious attempts, was the clause intended in the bill
for the encouragement of learning;[10] for taking off the obligation upon
fellows of colleges in both Universities to enter upon holy orders: the
design of which, as I have heard the undertakers often confess, was to
remove the care of educating youth out of the hands of the clergy, who
are apt to infuse into their pupils too great a regard for the Church and
the Monarchy. But there was a farther secret in this clause, which may
best be discovered by the first projectors, or at least the garblers of
it; and these are known to be C[o]ll[i]ns[11] and Tindal,[12] in
conjunction with a most pious lawyer their disciple.[13]

What shall we say to their prodigious skill in arithmetic, discovered so
constantly in their decision of elections; where they were able to make
out by the _rule of false_, that three were more than three-and-twenty,
and fifteen than fifty? Nay it was a maxim which I never heard any of
them dispute, that in determining elections, they were not to consider
where the right lay, but which of the candidates was likelier to be true
to "the cause." This they used to illustrate by a very apt and decent
similitude, of gaming with a sharper; if you cannot cheat as well as he,
you are certainly undone.

Another cast of their politics was that of endeavouring to impeach an
innocent l[a]dy, for no reason imaginable, but her faithful and diligent
service to the Q[ueen],[14] and the favour her M[ajesty] bore to her upon
that account, when others had acted contrary in so shameful a manner.
What else was the crime? Had she treated her royal mistress with
insolence or neglect? Had she enriched herself by a long practice of
bribery, and obtaining exorbitant grants? Had she engrossed her
M[ajest]y's favours, without admitting any access but through her means?
Had she heaped employments upon herself, her family and dependants? Had
she an imperious, haughty behaviour? Or, after all, was it a perfect
blunder and mistake of one person for another? I have heard of a man who
lay all night on a rough pavement; and in the morning, wondering what it
c