, I find that
fifty thousand grains of sulphur water divided, into one hundred parts,
contains,

Bilge water, - - - - - - - - - - 95.75
Sulphate of Bilgerius, - - - - - 1.855
Chloride of Bilgeria, - - - - - - .285
Carbonate de Bilgique, - - - - - - .750
Silica Bilgica, - - - - - - - - - 1.955
Hydro-sulp-Bil, - - - - - - - - - .28

Twenty thousand grains of the water would contain less of the above
element than fifty thousand grains, which ought to be mentioned as
another one of the remarkable peculiarities of this most remarkable
fluid."

I sent the foregoing scientific deductions to the "Resident Physician,"
and the bearer told me afterwards that the venerable Esculapian only
observed,--"Well, the writer of that must have been a most egregious
ass. There is no such thing as 'Sulphate of Bilgerius,' or 'Silica
Bilgica,' or anything like them", and then the old fellow chuckled to
himself over my supposed ignorance. I was willing he should. I'm
accustomed to being called an ass, and always like to be recognized by
my kindred. Chemically thine,

SULPHURO.

* * * * *

COOL, IF NOT COMFORTABLE.

Apropos of complications arising out of the late Navy Appropriation Law,
a daily paper states as follows:

"The decision of the Attorney General now forces him to turn the balance
into the Treasury, and the sailors have to go unclothed."

How this decision will affect recruiting for our navy yet remains to be
seen, though it is probable that but few civilized men can be found to
join a service in which nudity is obligatory. In such torrid weather as
we are having, JACK ashore with nothing on, except, perhaps, a Panama
hat, will be a novel and refreshing object--but how about the police?

* * * * *

[Illustration: LAW VERSUS LAWLESSNESS. THE VIRTUOUS ALLIES OF THE NEW
YORK "SUN" ENGAGED IN THEIR CONGENIAL OCCUPATION OF THROWING DIRT.]

* * * * *

HIRAM GREEN ON BASE BALL.

A Match Game between Centenarians.--"Roomatix" vs. "Bloostockin's."

The veterans of the war of 1812 of this place, organized a base ball
club.

It was called the "Roomatix base ball club."

A challinge was sent to the "Bloo stockin' base ball club," an old man's
club in an adjoinin' town. They met last week to play a match game.

It required rather more macheenery than is usually allowed in this grate
nashunal game of cha