ce, but I'm not going
to, for I want to stay with Father. What would he do all alone at meal
times, and whom would he have to talk to in the evenings? Father was
really quite touched when I said this and he stroked my hair as he can
and no one else, not even Mother. So I'm going to stay at home whatever
happens. Flowers are very cheap now, so I shall put _different_ flowers
on the table every day, I shall go to the Market every day to buy a
little posy, so that they can always be fresh. It would be stupid for me
to go to the Brs., why should I, Resi has been with us for such a long
time, she knows how to do everything even if Mother is not there and
everything else I can arrange. Father won't want for anything.

June 1st. We've had such an experience to-day! It's awful; it's quite
true then that one takes off _every stitch_ when one is madly fond of
anyone. I never really believed it, and I'm sure Dora did not, although
Mad. hinted it to her; but _it's true_. We've seen it _with our own
eyes_. I was just sitting and reading Storm's The Rider of the Grey
Horse and Dora was arranging some writing paper to take to Franzensbad
when Resi came and said: Fraulein Dora, please come here a moment, I
want you to look at something! From the tone of her voice I saw there
was something up so I went too. At first Resi would not say what it
was but Dora was generous and said: "It's all right, you can say
_everything_ before her." Then we went into Resi's room and from behind
the curtain peeped into the mezzanin. A young _married couple_ live
there!!! At least Resi says people say they are _not_ really married,
but simply live together!!!! And what we saw was awful. She was
absolutely naked lying in bed without any of the clothes on, and he
was kneeling by the bedside quite n-- too, and he kissed her all over,
_everywhere!!!_ Dora said afterwards it made her feel quite sick. And
then he stood up--no, I can't write it, it's too awful, I shall never
forget it. So _that's_ the way of it, it's simply frightful. I could
never have believed it. Dora went as white as a sheet and trembled so
that Resi was terribly frightened. I nearly cried with horror, and yet
I could not help laughing too. I was really afraid he would stifle her
because he's so big and she's so small. And Resi says he is certainly
much too big for her, and that he nearly tears her. I don't know why
he should tear her but certainly he might have crushed her. Dora was
so terri