everything now either; I can hold my tongue
too.

March 14th. Yesterday we did not talk to one another so much as usual; I
especially was very silent. When the bell rang at 5 and I had just been
doing the translation Hella came and begged my pardon and brought me
some lovely violets, so of course I forgave her. This is really the
first time we've ever quarrelled. First she wanted to bring me some
sweets, but then she decided upon violets, and I think that was much
more graceful. One gives sweets to a little child when it has hurt
itself or been in a temper. But flowers are not for a child.

March 19th. Frieda Belay is dead. We are all terribly upset. None of us
were very intimate with her, but now that she is dead we all remember
that she was a schoolfellow. She died of heart failure following
rheumatic fever. We all attended her funeral, except Hella who was not
allowed to come. Her mother cried like anything and her grandmother
still more; her father cried too. We sent a wreath of white roses with
a lovely inscription: Death has snatched you away in the flower of your
youth--Your Schoolfellows.

I have no pleasure in anything to-day. I did not see Frieda Belay after
she was dead, but Franke was there yesterday and saw her in her coffin.
She says she will never forget it, it gave her such a pang. In the
church Lampl had a fit of hysterics, for her mother was buried only a
month ago and now she was reminded of it all and was frightfully upset.
I cried a lot too when I was with Hella. She fancied it was because I
was thinking she might have died last Dec. But that wasn't it, I don't
think about that sort of thing. But when anyone dies it is so awfully
sad.

March 24th. I never heard of such a thing. I can't go to Cilli with
Hella. Her mother was at her cousin's, and when she heard that she was
going to Cilli at Easter she asked her to take Melanie with her. That
is, she didn't ask straight out, but kept on hinting until Hella's
mother said: Let Melanie come with us, it will help to set her up after
her illness. In the winter she had congestion of the lung. Hella and
I can't bear her because she's always spying on us and is so utterly
false. So of course I can't go. Hella says too she's frightfully sorry,
but when _she_ is about we could never say a word about anything, it
would drive us crazy. She quite agrees that I had better not come. But
oh I'm so annoyed for first of all I do so like going away with Hella
and s