FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   103   104   105   106   107   108   109   110   111   112   113   114   115   116   117   118   119   120   121   122   123   124   125   126   127  
128   129   130   131   132   133   134   135   136   137   138   139   140   141   142   143   144   145   146   147   148   149   150   151   152   >>   >|  
had followed defeat, until her thoughts were all remorse. Those few hours of the past afternoon--dull enough while she possessed them--returned to her memory only to make her feel how much more they might have given. She had disappointed and deceived her mother to obtain them, and what had they brought her? Nothing but an intolerable shame and remorse. Spiritually, she felt a prostration worse than death. She told herself that she had prayed, that she had asked God to help her, and that he had not done so. If God had so willed, it need not have been thus with her. But alas! accusing God brought her no comfort; her conscience continually reminded her of what she had done, and what she had left undone--of her selfishness--her lost time--her idle languors--her hypocrisy--her rebellion against God,--all these sins she realized, and she hated herself for them. Still, this very activity of despair was hopeful; for it is not despair, but the sombre inertia of despondency, that is fatal to improvement. It was the happiest thing in the world for Rose that she was capable of being unhappy. For when she met with herself thus, she felt the need of meeting with God. If she had suffered less, she might have been content to leave God in heaven; but this utter sense of misery and weakness made her at last fall humbly before "the Father which is in heaven," and murmur, "Have mercy upon me!" And with that prayer, she slept. Very early in the morning Antony called on Mr. Filmer. But there was no need to apologize for the hour. Mr. Filmer was possessed by the necessity for rapid action, and he welcomed Antony the more warmly for his promptitude. "I am a lover, Mr. Filmer," said Antony, "and you know lovers run ahead of the clock. I love Miss Filmer most sincerely, and I desire to make her my wife. Of course, this desire implies the means to support her in the position to which she has been accustomed, and I have therefore brought you this schedule of my income to examine." Mr. Filmer lifted the paper and read its contents with the caution and respect the circumstances warranted. He laid it down with an air of pleasure and astonishment. "This is an extraordinary record of property for so young a man as you are, Mr. Van Hoosen." "I have had extraordinary good fortune, sir. As you see, my share in the hotel, of itself, insures Miss Filmer's adequate support; and I am desirous to make over to her absolutely, for her own use in an
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   103   104   105   106   107   108   109   110   111   112   113   114   115   116   117   118   119   120   121   122   123   124   125   126   127  
128   129   130   131   132   133   134   135   136   137   138   139   140   141   142   143   144   145   146   147   148   149   150   151   152   >>   >|  



Top keywords:

Filmer

 

brought

 

Antony

 
possessed
 

despair

 
desire
 

support

 

remorse

 

heaven

 
extraordinary

lovers

 

prayer

 

absolutely

 

adequate

 

action

 

insures

 

called

 
necessity
 
morning
 
welcomed

desirous

 

promptitude

 
warmly
 

apologize

 

position

 

warranted

 

respect

 
circumstances
 

fortune

 

pleasure


astonishment

 

property

 

record

 

Hoosen

 

caution

 

accustomed

 

schedule

 
implies
 

income

 
examine

contents

 

lifted

 

sincerely

 

prayed

 

prostration

 

Nothing

 

intolerable

 

Spiritually

 

reminded

 

undone