the
Cannibals, Three Methods of Destroying Idols, How to Prove to a Savage
That he is Naked, Junk from Missionary Societies--What to Do With it,
101 Ways to Raise Missionary Funds, etc., etc."

"Or, we have a very fine course in _Philanthropy--the Science of
Giving_. This course contains a lecture by Carnegie, one by Hettie
Green, one by William Jennings Bryan, one by Jess Willard--no, that's
another course--"

"That's interesting; very interesting, but--"

"Then perhaps I could interest this manly little fellow in something.
The Inter-State Correspondence Schools make a specialty of the interests
of boys, I might say. Are you interested in athletics, my lad?
Baseball? Boxing? Broad-jumping? Football? Sailing? Swimming?--"

[Illustration]

Biscuit's interest was at once apparent.

"Plain and fancy swimming and diving, surfboarding, how to dodge the
breakers, how to cheat the undertow, rescue and resuscitation--can you
swim, my lad?"

"No, sir, but I wisht I could."

"We have a very fine course in swimming, madam. We positively guarantee
to teach swimming in ten lessons or money refunded. All the latest
strokes: overhand, trudgeon, crawl, shoulder-stroke--"

"No, not to-day," interrupted Mrs. Westfall. "It's too dangerous. I
don't want my boy going into the water."

"Aw, mama, let me learn to swim!" whined Biscuit. "I'm the only boy in
town that can't swim!"

"Karl! Be still! It's too dangerous!"

"Pardon me, madam, but it is no more dangerous than playing the piano!
By our up-to-date system the student is taught to swim without so much
as touching the tip of his finger to the water!"

"A lot of expensive apparatus, I suppose."

"No apparatus whatever! We teach it in the home! Only the smooth top of
a kitchen table is required. Individual instruction by mail. And bear in
mind that our iron-bound guarantee goes with every course. Money back if
not satisfactory."

"How much does it cost?" she asked weakly.

"A mere trifle, madam, when we consider that it may be the means of
saving this little fellow's life!"

He laid a blank on the table and produced a fountain pen.

"But the expense?" insisted Mrs. Westfall as she saw him filling out the
blank.

"Not enough for a person in your circumstances to consider-- Sign
there."

She took the pen and poised it uncertainly over the dotted line. "Before
I sign this I ought to know--"

"A mere trifle--sign there--an inconsequential nothing--on the dotted
l