amusement in misfortunes which might any day be our
own; but any one who ever witnessed the air of ludicrous alarm with
which an undergraduate prepares to obey the summons (capable of
but one interpretation)--"The dean wishes to see you, sir, at ten
o'clock"--which so often, in my time at least, was sent as a whet to
some of the assembled guests at a breakfast-party; whoever has been
applied to on such occasions for the loan of a tolerable cap (that of
the delinquent having its corners in such dilapidated condition as to
proclaim its owner a "rowing man" at once), or has responded to the
pathetic appeal, "Do I look _very_ seedy?"--any one to whom such absurd
recollections of early days occur (and if you, good reader, are a
university man, as, being a gentleman, I am bound in charity to conclude
you are, and yet have no such reminiscences, allow me to suggest that
you must have been a very slow coach indeed)--any one, I say once more,
who knows the ridiculous figure which a man cuts when "hauled up" before
the college Minos or Radamanthus, will easily forgive his friends for
being inclined to laugh at him.

However, in the present case, any anticipations of fun at my expense,
which the party in Leicester's rooms might charitably entertain, were
somewhat qualified by the fear that the consequences of any little
private difference between the dean and myself might affect the
prosperity of our unlicensed theatre. And when they heard how very
nearly the discovery of the stays had been fatal to our project,
execrations against Simmons's espionage were mingled with admiration
of my escape from so critical a position.

The following is, I apprehend, a unique specimen of an Oxford bill, and
the only one, out of a tolerably large bundle which I keep for the sake
of the receipts attached (a precaution by no means uncalled for), which
I find any amusement in referring to:--

---- HAWTHORNE, ESQ.,

To M. MOORE. _s._ _d._

2 pr. brown jean corsets 8 0
Padding for do., made to order 2 6
-------
10 6
Recd. same day, M. M.

Very much surprised was the old lady, of whom I made the purchase in my
capacity of stage-manager, at so uncommon a customer in her line of
business; and when, after enjoying her mystification for some time, I
let her into the secret, so delighted was she at the notion, t