, sir! I never did no sich a thing; I was a-making of your bed,
sir, when I sees the tag of a stay-lace hanging out of your topmost
drawer, sir--(I am a married man, sir," to the dean apologetically, "and
I know the tag of a stay-lace, sir)--and so I took it out, sir; and
knowing my duty to the college, sir, though I should be very sorry to
bring you into trouble, Mr Hawthorne, sir"----

"Yes, yes, Simmons, you did quite right," said the dean. "You are bound
to give notice to the college authorities of all irregularities, and
your situation requires that you should be conscientious."

"I hope I am, sir," said the little rascal; "but indeed I am very sorry,
Mr Hawthorne, sir"----

"Oh! never mind," said I; "you did right, no doubt. I can only say those
things are not mine, sir; they belong to a friend of mine."

"I don't ask who they belong to, sir," said the dean indignantly; "I
ask, sir, how came they in your rooms?"

"I believe, sir, my friend (he was in my rooms yesterday) left them
there. Some men wear stays, sir," continued I, boldly; "it's very much
the fashion, I'm told."

"Eh! hum!" said the dean, eyeing the brown jean doubtingly. "I have
heard of such things. Horrid puppies men are now. Never dreamt of such
things in my younger days; but then, sir, we were not allowed to wear
white trousers, and waistcoats of I don't know what colours; we were
made to attend to the statutes--_'Nigri aut subfusci,'_ sir. Ah! times
are changed--times are changed, indeed! And do you mean to say, sir, you
have a friend, a member of this university, who wears such things as
these?"

I might have got clear off, if it had not been for that rascal Simmons.
I saw him give the dean a look, and an almost imperceptible shake of the
head.

"But I don't think, sir," resumed he, "these can be a man's stays--eh,
Simmons?" Simmons looked diligently at his toes. "No," said the dean,
investigating the unhappy garment more closely--"no; I fear, Simmons,
these are female stays!"

The conscientious Simmons made no sign.

"I don't know, sir," said I, as he looked from Simmons to me. "I don't
wear stays, and I know nothing about them. If Simmons were to fetch a
pair of Mrs Simmons's, sir," resumed I, "you could compare them."

Mrs Simmons's figure resembled a sack of flour, with a string round it;
and if she did wear the articles in question, they must have been of a
pattern almost unique--made to order.

"Sir," said the dean, "your fli