sex are fond of employing. They strip what we
say of all delicate shadings and illusory phrases, and reduce it to
some bare question of fact, with which they make a home-thrust at us.

"Yes, that's it; are people _never_ to get a new carpet?" echoed
Jenny.

"My dears," I replied, "it is a fact that to introduce anything new
into an apartment hallowed by many home associations, where all things
have grown old together, requires as much care and adroitness as for
an architect to restore an arch or niche in a fine old ruin. The fault
of our carpet was that it was in another style from everything in our
room, and made everything in it look dilapidated. Its colors,
material, and air belonged to another manner of life, and were a
constant plea for alterations; and you see it actually drove out and
expelled the whole furniture of the room, and I am not sure yet that
it may not entail on us the necessity of refurnishing the whole
house."

"My dear!" said my wife, in a tone of remonstrance; but Jane and
Marianne laughed and colored.

"Confess, now," said I, looking at them; "have you not had secret
designs on the hall and stair carpet?"

"Now, papa, how could you know it? I only said to Marianne that to
have Brussels in the parlor and that old mean-looking ingrain carpet
in the hall did not seem exactly the thing; and in fact you know,
mamma, Messrs. Ketchem & Co. showed us such a lovely pattern, designed
to harmonize with our parlor carpet."

"I know it, girls," said my wife; "but you know I said at once that
such an expense was not to be thought of."

"Now, girls," said I, "let me tell you a story I heard once of a very
sensible old New England minister, who lived, as our country ministers
generally do, rather near to the bone, but still quite contentedly. It
was in the days when knee-breeches and long stockings were worn, and
this good man was offered a present of a very nice pair of black silk
hose. He declined, saying he 'could not afford to wear them.'"

"'Not afford it?' said the friend; 'why, I _give_ them to you.'

"'Exactly; but it will cost me not less than two hundred dollars to
take them, and I cannot do it.'

"'How is that?'

"'Why, in the first place, I shall no sooner put them on than my wife
will say, "My dear, you must have a new pair of knee-breeches," and I
shall get them. Then my wife will say, "My dear, how shabby your coat
is! You must have a new one," and I shall get a new coat. Then she
w