he nation might see and read
and therefrom take pride and inspiration, right next to the cartoons of
the Katzenjammer Kids.

XLVIII

THE LOVER

"Three brilliant men are my suitors," said the beautiful young woman.
"And I would marry the one who loves me most. Tell me how I may know
that one."

"Pick the one who, when he is with you, is the most stupid," replied her
old nurse.

XLIX

THE PUBLIC

The hurdy-gurdy man's monkey, cap in hand, clambered to the sill of the
mediocre artist's window. And the mediocre artist tossed into his cap a
peanut. The monkey, putting the peanut in his mouth, swallowed it, and
grinned.

The hurdy-gurdy man's monkey, cap in hand, clambered to the neighbouring
sill of the great artist's window. And the great artist tossed into his
cap a sou. The monkey, putting the sou in his mouth, swallowed it, and
grinned. But presently a great discomfort instituted itself in the
monkey's abdomen. Whereupon the monkey immediately concluded that the
sou was a counterfeit.

L

THE SCHOLAR

The scholar laid in solemn reverence a wreath upon the tomb of
Beethoven.

"I place this wreath not upon the tomb of Beethoven," he exclaimed, "but
upon the grave of music."

But no one heard what he said, because the robins were singing too
loudly.

LI

GROTESQUERIE

The small boy's ambition was to grow up and be an iceman.

The small boy grew up and became a famous vaudeville clog dancer.

The great man now often thinks back and smiles to himself at the
grotesque absurdity of a small boy's idea of a career.

LII

CONTRETEMPS

An artist, wandering along the highway of a city, with his eyes on the
stars, tripped over something, fell and was crippled.

It was a purse of gold.

LIII

DRAMATIC CRITICISM

Two gentlemen of the assizes met one evening upon the highway with a
dog. The dog, a friendly creature, barked amiably at the gentlemen,
whereupon the twain smiled and bent to pat the dog. Stooping thus, one
of the gentlemen issued suddenly a cry of alarm.

"Fie!" he cried to his colleague, "I see upon the creature's hide a
flea!"

The other adjusted his glass and scrutinized the beast closely.

"That," he observed, with the mien of one not to be contradicted, "that,
sir, is not a flea. That is a louse!"

LIV

NEPENTHE

"I think I'll take a few drinks to make me forget my troubles," said the
poor man.

The drinks made the