e to his word and
promise, he thought of her. He thought how cold her kisses were compared
with those of this lovely creature.

LXVI

SATIRE

The new battleship trembled in the ways, ready to glide into the sea.

The girl cracked a bottle of champagne over its bow and said in measured
and serious tones: "I christen thee--'_Kansas_'!"

LXVII

GLORY

The young private, dreaming dreams of valour and glory, awaited eagerly
his chance.

The enemy was daily coming nearer, nearer, and the dreams of the young
private grew vivid and rosier still.

One morning, before dawn, the General telegraphed the Lieutenant-General
to telegraph the Brigadier-General to telegraph the Colonel to telegraph
the Lieutenant-Colonel to telegraph the Major to heliograph the Captain
to telephone the First-Lieutenant to telephone the Second-Lieutenant to
signal the Sergeant to tell the Corporal to command the private to
charge!

The young private, at the order, dashed forward and was among the
thousands who fell, still adream, in the capture of the hill that won
for the General his nineteenth successive imperial cross.

LXVIII

ROMANCE

There were many ardent suitors for her hand. And they sent her orchids
and violets and lilies and roses. All save one, a poor young fellow, who
sent her but a simple little bunch of daisies.

She married the man who sent orchids.

LXIX

THE SPIDER AND THE FLY

"Won't you come into my parlour?" said the spider to the fly.

"What nice hair you have," said the woman to the man.

LXX

VERITAS

The king was desirous of obtaining the most truthful man of his court
for Lord of the domain's Exchequer. One by one the king had tested the
aspirants and one by one had consigned each in his turn to the headsman;
for they had all proved themselves liars. Three, and three only,
remained.

Said the king to the first of these, "Have, you ever in all your life
written, or tried to write, a poem?"

"No, your majesty," replied the fellow.

Whereupon the king signaled promptly the headsman.

Said the king to the second of these, "Can you sit in a rocking-chair
without rocking?"

"Yes, your majesty," replied the fellow.

Whereupon the king signaled promptly the headsman.

Said the king to the third of these, "Have you ever used a hair tonic of
any kind?"

"No, your majesty, never!" replied the fellow.

Whereupon the king signaled promptly the headsman.

An