veneration (in its
human aspect), adhesiveness, and ideality, as well as of
conscientiousness. It is the spontaneous recognition of human
solidarity--the flowering of philanthropy--the fine art of the social
passions. It is to the heart what music is to the ear, and painting
and sculpture to the eye.

One can not commit a greater mistake than to make politeness a mere
matter of arbitrary forms. It has as real and permanent a foundation
in the nature and relations of men and women, as have government and
the common law. The civil code is not more binding upon us than is the
code of civility. Portions of the former become, from time to time,
inoperative--mere dead letters on the statute-book, on account of the
conditions on which they were founded ceasing to exist; and many of
the enactments of the latter lose their significance and binding force
from the same cause. Many of the forms now in vogue, in what is called
fashionable society, are of this character. Under the circumstances
which called them into existence they were appropriate and beautiful;
under changed circumstances they are simply absurd. There are other
forms of observances over which time and place have no influence--which
are always and everywhere binding.

Politeness itself is always the same. The rules of etiquette, which
are merely the forms in which it finds expression, vary with time and
place. A sincere regard for the rights of others, in the smallest
matters as well as the largest, genuine kindness of heart; good taste,
and self-command, which are the foundations of good manners, are never
out of fashion; and a person who possesses them can hardly be rude or
discourteous, however far he may transgress conventional usages:
lacking these qualities, the most perfect knowledge of the rules of
etiquette and the strictest observance of them will not suffice to
make one truly polite.

"Politeness," says La Bruyere, "seems to be a certain care, by the
manner of our words and actions, to make others pleased with us and
themselves." This definition refers the matter directly to those
qualities of mind and heart already enumerated as the foundations of
good manners. To the same effect is the remark of Madame Celnart, that
"the grand secret of never-failing propriety of deportment is _to have
an intention of always doing right_."

Some persons have the "instinct of courtesy" so largely developed that
they seem hardly to need culture at all. They are equa