That man alternates a smooth-shaven face with a full beard in the
most startling manner. Petey Simmons is short and flaxen-haired, long
and black-haired, and wide and hatchet-faced in turns, depending on the
illustrator. I never know Ole Skjarsen when I see him for the same
reason. As for Prince Hogboom, Allie Bangs, Keg Rearick and the rest of
them, nobody knows how they look but the artists who illustrated the
stories; and as I read each number and viewed the smiling faces of
these students, I murmured, "Goodness, how you have changed!"

So I have struggled along as best I could to administer the affairs of a
college which is located nowhere, has no student body, has no endowment,
never looks the same twice, and cannot be reached by any reliable route.
The situation is impossible. I must locate it somewhere. If you are
interested in the college when you have read these few stories, suppose
you hunt for it wherever college boys are full of applied deviltry and
college girls are distractingly fair; where it is necessary to win
football games in order to be half-way contented with the universe;
where the spring weather is too wonderful to be wasted on College
Algebra or History of Art; and where, whatever you do, or whoever you
like, or however you live, you can't forget it, no matter how long you
work or worry afterward.

There! I can't mark it on the map, but if you have ever worried a
college faculty you'll know the way.

GEORGE FITCH.
July, 1911.

CONTENTS

CHAPTER PAGE

I OLE SKJARSEN'S FIRST TOUCHDOWN 1

II INITIATING OLE 28

III WHEN GREEK MEETS GROUCH 50

IV A FUNERAL THAT FLASHED IN THE PAN 78

V COLLEGES WHILE YOU WAIT 105

VI THE GREEK DOUBLE CROSS 135

VII TAKING PACE FROM FATHER TIME 169

VIII FRAPPED FOOTBALL 196

IX CUPID--THAT OLD COLLEGE CHUM 223

X VOTES FROM WOMEN 253

XI SIC TRANSIT GLORIA ALL-AMERICA 284

ILLUSTRATIONS

Twenty-five yards with four Muggledorfer
men hanging on his legs