E
THE SECRET OF THE ARMY AEROPLANE
THE HALO THEY GAVE THEMSELVES
A DIDACTIC NOVEL
MERELY PLAYERS
ON THE BAT'S BACK
UNCLE EDWARD
THE RENASCENCE OF BRITAIN
THE BIRTHDAY PRESENT
ONE OF OUR SUFFERERS
IN THE SWIM
THE MEN WHO SUCCEED
THE HEIR
THE STATESMAN
THE MAGNATE
THE DOCTOR
THE NEWSPAPER PROPRIETOR
THE COLLECTOR
THE ADVENTURER
THE EXPLORER

TO

MY COLLABORATOR

WHO BUYS THE INK AND PAPER
LAUGHS
AND, IN FACT, DOES ALL THE REALLY DIFFICULT
PART OF THE BUSINESS
THIS BOOK IS GRATEFULLY DEDICATED
IN MEMORY OF A WINTER'S MORNING
IN SWITZERLAND

CONTENTS

PAGE
THE HEIR 1

WINTER SPORT 29

A BAKER'S DOZEN 61

GETTING MARRIED 127

HOME AFFAIRS 149

OTHER PEOPLE'S HOUSES 183

BURLESQUES 215

MERELY PLAYERS 251

THE MEN WHO SUCCEED 281

NOTE

These sketches have previously appeared in _Punch_, to whose proprietors
I am much indebted for permission to reprint.

THE HEIR

THE HEIR

I.--HE INTRODUCES HIMSELF

"In less refined circles than ours," I said to Myra, "your behaviour
would be described as swank. Really, to judge from the airs you put on,
you might be the child's mother."

"He's jealous because he's not an aunt himself. Isn't he, ducksey
darling?"

"I do wish you wouldn't keep dragging the baby into the conversation; we
can make it go quite well as a duologue. As to being jealous--why, it's
absurd. True, I'm not an aunt, but in a very short time I shall be an
uncle by marriage, which sounds to me much superior. That is," I added,
"if you're still equal to it."

Myra blew me a kiss over the cradle.

"Another thing you've forgotten," I went on, "is that I'm down for a
place as a godfather. Archie tells me that it isn't settled yet, but
that there's a good deal of talk about it in the clubs. Who's the other
going to be? Not Thomas, I suppose? That would be making the thing
rather a farce."

"Hasn't Dahlia broken it to you?" said Myra anxiously.

"Simpson?" I asked, in an awed whisper.

Myra nodded. "And, of course, Thomas," she said.

"Heavens! N